I’m not usually the type to care about celeb gossip. I am, however, very much interested in Twitter and vaginas (not necessarily in that order); particularly when they fall into the same story. Last night they came together when Katy Perry asked of her 1.7 million followers on Twitter, ”Is it normal to have a recurrent rash with blisters on my vagina?” (Overshare much???)
MTV’s newsroom blog noted that it was no more unusual than her normal histrionics, but still, ewe. Some that one of her studio producers may have hijacked her Twitter account, but regardless, Perez Hilton tweeted, ”Let’s get Katy Perry’s vagina to #1 y’all!” (Let’s not and say we did, huh?) Thus prompted, tweeps took the ball (or ‘gyner) and ran with it. Before too long KP’s vaj became the top-trending topic on Twitter, upstaged only briefly overly hyped iPad.
I <3 Jersey S(w)hores
If you didn’t watch Jersey Shore, you really missed out on a chance to feel great about yourself. Some of my favorite lines from the cast included such favorites as, “I’m a bartender, I do really great things“, “It goes back to the days of prehistoric kindergarten“, and of course, who can forget, “We got there at midnight and left at 4 am – five hours was enough.”
Naturally the silicon was flowing (and that’s the only time you’ll see the words ‘naturally’ and ’silicon’ in the same sentence), and just in case you didn’t see enough half-naked cum-gargling white trash on the show, now there’s more! Apparently someone is trying to sell shots of JWoww topless and bare-assed. The photographer questioned with regard to the case insists that although the images sound like nudes he took of her in ‘08, no one has asked for his permission or offered him money. It’s still unclear if they’re the same shots, but what IS important is that they’ll most likely soon be published for all to leer/gag at.
The Menifee Union School District in California recently pulled all copies of Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary from their shelves and is investigating what they consider “age-inappropriate” words. The controversy began when a student thumbing through ”oralism” and “orang” in the dictionary, found the recent entry “oral sex“. A parent complained to the school district after the child read the definition: “oral stimulation of the genitals.” (And how).
The school district is now forming a committee composed of principals, teachers and parents to determine whether the 470,000 entries are suitable for children. Free speech advocates (and sane people), worry that this is “needless and harmful censorship”. Seriously, why don’t you take a look at the Bible and let me know if the stories of rape, pillage, murder and the like are suitable for children? Or for that matter, check out one of any classically gruesome Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales.
The Executive Director of the California First Amendment Coalition stated, “If a public school were to remove every book because it contains one word deemed objectionable to some parent, then there would be no books at all in our public libraries. I think common sense seems to be lacking in this school.” Obvi. The school district might settle for trading the collegiate editions for Merriam-Webster’s Children’s Dictionary. (I’m sure the pictures are lovely.)
To read the complete article, click here.
Glossary of Gay Terms
If you read as many ‘Men Seeking Men‘ postings on Craigslist as I do (and there’s no way that you do), there are probably a lot of terms that you’re unfamiliar with. Who do you turn to for your homocabulary? Maybe you were wondering, ‘What’s a popper?’, ‘What time is a vampire run?’ ‘Who is Caligula?’
Well wonder no more. This site will get you up to speed on all of your gay vernacular needs. Now you can search the gay way on a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual (LGBT) portal. Visit GayCityUSA’s gay dictionary today for hours of fun with your whole (twisted) family!
Learn How to Deep Throat
Now you, too, can learn how to deep throat in the privacy and comfort of your own home! Many thanks to my girl J. Lav for hookin’ us up with this article. You may be asking yourself, “Why would I want to learn how to deep throat?” Well, in addition to your aspirations of being a porn star, if you don’t like the taste of semen (and who really does) deep throating almost completely eliminates the taste.
This article provides step-by-step instructions on how to deep throat, including diagrams of the anatomy. Learn how to control your gag reflex and relax your tongue so you can slide a cock down your throat. Discover beginner to advanced level techniques, like ‘the throat massage’, a swallowing technique that’s like a massage along the entire length of a cock. So don’t waste another day; you could be throat fucking in no time!
For the complete article, click here.
*WARNING: Do not practice on hot dogs.
Masturbation Tips II – For Her
I’ve never met a man that doesn’t masturbate. I have, however, met scores of women who don’t. It’s no wonder so many women have never had an orgasm – how can you possibly tell someone how to get you off if you yourself don’t know how? I rub one out religiously before bed, which must make me some sort of a sexpert, right? This being said, I’ll throw in my own two cents (more like a quarter: inflation) with some of the information I found online.
If there’s one thing I learned from my research, it’s that vaginas are like snowflakes, no two are alike. Everyone likes something different and you just have to try new things to determine what works best for you. Here are some ideas:
- Toys – I don’t think anyone would disagree that props make the play better. Vibrators are a cheap and easy way to start off. When you’re comfortable with the basics, you can then graduate to The Rabbit. Many friends have recommended dildos, but personally I don’t like anything foreign up there (unless he’s Dominican – booya)!
- Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb – Don’t underrate the power of your own palm. Sometimes the right friction can only be done with a hand… and your own, at that. I recommend rubbing over any thin fabric instead of directly on your clit – panties work perfectly, as do sheets. One site suggested tracing the entire alphabet on your hot button – this seems rather tedious and requires entirely too much thought, but let me know…
Shower to Shower – An untold secret in many happily ending masturbating stories. Removable shower heads are ideal, but even spreading ‘em under the bathtub faucet will do the trick and the compromising position can be a plus. In the summer, sometimes a pool filter can provide a good gush that will do the job – less accessible, but then you can tan while you play. It’s a win win!
Girls, I leave you to it: WOMANOAH!
Masturbation Tips
In my search to diversify the sex-related content you’ve grown to know and love, I stumbled upon this morsel. The article is related to masturbation for men, but who can’t use a brush-up (and down) on hand job skills now and then? (Chill, ladies; tomorrow’s post will pussify your protests.) While the article had many good ideas, the best ones were:
- Switch hands or change positions – personally I can’t get the right friction with my left hand, but maybe I just don’t have the right equipment. I’ve heard good reviews about The Stranger.
- Simulate thrusts instead of using your hands to move up and down the shaft. While I appreciate this move saves you from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, it might not look that sexy. Therefore, NOT recommended during mutual masturbation.
- Different strokes – And not in a Gary Coleman kind of way. The article suggests rolling your penis in between your hands while moving them up and down the shaft or using long twisting strokes. Actually this just sounds kind of painful.
- Don’t neglect the rest of your genitals, try massaging the perineum (the area between the balls and the anus, AKA ‘the taint’). It’s also recommended you try sticking your finger in your ass (multi-taskers only).
- Toys – The piece urges you to consider using a vibrator, dildo, butt plug, cock ring or cock sleeve. Frankly, this just sounds gay, but whatevs, no judgement.
Happy playing!
For the complete article, click here.
Restore the Color of Your Vagina
I don’t spend so much time staring at my genitals that I’d ever notice if mine was fading in color, but I’m glad to know that if I ever did, a solution already exists.
My New Pink Button is a cosmetic colorant that promises to restore the pink back to a woman’s genitals. The creators noted that over the years, it’s normal for a woman’s labia to lose its pink hue due to stress or childbirth.
This specialty stain “blends with the skin’s natural color” and lasts for about three days – “perfect for a romantic weekend” (during which, you’d of course want your vagina at its pinkest).
I find this somewhat racist, since minority women wouldn’t have the need to color their vaginas pink (unless they are into punk rock pussy, perhaps). Also, I didn’t see corresponding links for “My New Black Button” or the like…
Passive Agression: Just Spit it Out!
Is there anything more irritating than when someone texts you something that you know they’d never have the balls to say to your face and adds an ‘lol‘ to the end?
We all know you meant it, the ‘lol‘ just makes you look like a pussy. Seriously, grow a pair and just say it like it is.
Personally, if someone doesn’t have the decency to tell me what the problem is, then it’s their problem. I tried being passive aggressive once; it’s overrated.
Confrontation is my middle name. I’m actually thinking of dropping my first and last name and just being ‘Confrontation’ a la Madonna…
Hair: What Is It Good For?
Absolutely nothing. And yet I can’t get over the amount of time the average human being spends either trying to remove, or else regrow hair in choice spots of the body.
This might be kind of an overshare, but since it is what I do best, moments when incessant grooming matters most are farther between of late, and it’s just a lot less work. May I also add that it’s much less painful; anyone who has received a Brazilian wax knows what I mean. There’s an unspoken agreement that beauty is pain: Waxing, threading, certain foot apparel, it can all feel very unpleasant.
Add to that the fact that I just switched to a gym close enough to shower at home; no hardly reason at all to pick up a razor as often. Why bother when no one sees anything other than my face and hands? Wait, if I start wearing a burka, I wouldn’t have to tweeze either…
