Gym Offers Naked Workouts
Ah, Spain: home of tapas, siestas… and now naked workouts! A gym in Spain’s region of Basque has a new way to motivate members, offering naked workouts. Aptly named, Easy Gym is the first of its kind (probably for good reason) to allow men and women to exercise completely in the buff. Based on research, the gym found that two local swimming pools offer popular monthly sessions for nude bathing and a local beach boasts of a naked run. Given the research, the gym felt like a naked workout was the next natural step.
However, skeptics suggest that running naked might not be entirely comfortable; pointing out that sports underwear was invented for a reason. (Amen to that.) To this argument, the gym owner stated, “Being a naturist doesn’t mean being daft. If a woman needs to, she can put a top on! But there’s cycling, weightlifting and the Stairmaster: there’s lots you can easily do naked.” (It’s true, I like naked cleaning.)
Beginning in May, the gym plans to operate every Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday exclusively for the uninhibited. Instructors have already been contacted to offer naked yoga classes in conjunction with the promotion. (They obviously missed the Seinfeld episode that deals with naked crouching.)
Strip Bar Now Serving Naked Sushi
“You know what would make this strip club better? Raw fish! Wait a minute…” Gentleman’s club, Mavericks’ in Cape Town, South Africa, recently introduced Sensual Sushi Wednesdays, where club patrons line up to eat sushi off the body of a raven-haired dancer. (And I thought I was a sushi whore..)
The dancer lays out on the VIP bar counter for a 90-minute stint as a human sushi platter, wearing a black G-string, heels and two strategically placed sea shells. Then sushi is piled high all over her body; a bowl of mayonnaise positioned between her legs. (Raw fish on a naked human body aside, what kind of sick fuck eats sushi with mayo???)
Originating in Japan, naked sushi, or “nyotaimori” was the practice of eating the fish off a naked woman. Traditionally the woman-platter is quiet and still, but at the night club, the dancer chats with diners, recommending pieces and inviting them to try the mayonnaise dip. She commented, “The first time I did this, I was eating the sushi off myself.” The sensual sushi buffet costs 190 South African Rands (roughly $28 USD), which includes entrance to the club and all the sushi you can eat. (What a deal!)
Man Tries to Light His Testicles on Fire
Perhaps taking Jerry Lee Lewis a little too seriously, a guest room at a bed and breakfast in Streatham, UK is in ashes after a man tried to set his balls on fire.
A representative from the B&B stated that the room was completely destroyed and firemen were called at 11pm and . Luckily, the door to the room had been closed, so there was no further damage.
The man (AKA FireCrotch) is believed suffer from mental illness. (Ya think?) He was taken to a local hospital for an injury to his arm. The inn is still open, though no word why the mentally unstable man chose such a romantic setting to set his crotch aflame.
Teen Jailed for Shouting ‘I Am a Penis’
Sounds to me like he wasn’t lying, though… A teenager received a two month jail sentence after chanting ‘I am a fucking penis‘ through the streets of Brisbane. (Damn, Aussies don’t fuck around.) The 18-year-old was arrested and denied bail because he was screaming the profanity within earshot of families and children.
After being jailed for 7 days, his imprisonment was suspended and bail was granted following an appeal. Although the youth had seven previous convictions for public nuisance, this offense was not deemed serious. The judge presiding over the case stated that a longer prison sentence would have exposed the teen to harmful aspects of prison; and moreover, he was, in fact, ‘a fucking penis“…
Man’s Penis Bitten by Snake While On Toilet
Ever get the fear that something is lurking in your plumbing whilst you reign from your throne? Your fear may become a reality… A man in China was bitten on his penis by a snake when he was sitting on the toilet.
In a story published by the China Times, the 51-year-old man from Taiwan sat down to do his business when he suddenly felt a knife-like pain and immediately stood up. When he looked down, he spotted a big snake (and it wasn’t his dick).
Medical staff at a local hospital said the man received only minor injuries and would be released as soon as he has passed the risk of infection.
The facility’s medical director stated, “A snake’s mouth isn’t always clean.” (Theirs aren’t the only ones!) Local television reports showed a black and yellow reptile, a species of rat snake, being uncoiled and removed from the toilet. (What the hell did that crazy Chinaman eat?) Turns out the rat snake was inspired by the @BronxZoosCobra, his elusive cousin.
