“Do you want whip cream with that?” A NYC local who calls himself Mister PeePee sure does. He has one mission: to jack off in every Starbucks bathroom in NYC. He even recorded a podcast describing the task at hand (literally). After each of conquests, he rates the results.
After a visit to the bathroom, Mister PeePee posts tweets like, “Today’s Starbucks visit is rated as a 4 Boner. Spacious, clean, excellent coffee, strong WIFI, no interruptions & 1 hot chick.” He stated, “I’ve got to rate the bathroom on cleanliness, and note if a person knocked on the door and interrupted me.”
A Starbucks employee commented, “For everyone one of him who decides to mention it, think of how many don’t. We have one regular who comes in for about an hour a day and stares and studies the baristas working. Even takes pictures (it certainly seems) with his phone. Can’t really say anything though since he’s a cop. ”
The good news is that Mister PeePee is NOT one of the baristas…
Man Seeks Surgery for 100-Pound Scrotum
What man doesn’t wish he had bigger balls? Perhaps one man from Las Vegas suffering from a condition resulting in the enlargement of his scrotum, now weighing in at 100 lbs. The man has difficulty with such simple tasks as getting dressed. He made a makeshift pedestal made from a pillow and milk crate to ease the pain his condition causes.
The 47-year-old traces his condition back to an incident in 2008. He rolled over in bed and struck his testicles with his leg, causing excruciating pain. The next morning his scrotum had swollen to the “size of a soccer ball.” Doctors who examined the scrotum found no trace of an infection which would have caused elephantiasis; so far all treatments have failed to shrink the scrotum.
The man has since been diagnosed with scrotal lymphedema, “a debilitating, massive swelling of the scrotum that results from lymph fluid and tissue buildup.” Doctors suggest that corrective surgery might leave the man without a penis or testicles. Doctors at the UCLA Medical Center say they could save his penis. That is, if the poor man can cough up a whopping $1M from his own pocket; his insurance won’t cover the out-of-state procedure.
In a desperate attempt to solicit funds, the man used a fake name and went on shock jock Howard Stern‘s radio show. He stated, “I don’t like being a freak, who would?” But I figured that the Stern show is listened to by millions of people and they might want to help me.” He hasn’t announced how much has been raised from email donations, but acknowledges it’s a start.
Eel Swims Up Man’s Penis
Looking for the fountain of youth? Don’t. A Chinese man who decided to bathe with live eels in an attempt to look younger, didn’t think about the risks involved. None of the eels made him feel any younger; especially the one that slipped up his penis.
The 56-year-old man bought ten live eels from a local market after being told he would look years younger if he bathed with them. According to the ancient beauty tradition, the eels nibble off layers of dead skin; similar to the popular use of carp in pedicures.
When the man attempted the beauty treatment at home, a 15 cm. long eel squirmed up his urethra and straight into his bladder. He commented, “I tried to grab the eel to pull it out again but it was too slippery and disappeared.” After a three-hour operation, the eel was finally removed. Sadly, the eel was killed during the procedure. The penis has since sworn revenge against his lover’s attackers.
Sex Toys for Halloween
Somethin’ spooky this way cums!
Anyone not yet visually pleasured by a fleshlight will soon succumb (hard) to these ghoulish delights.
Just in time for Halloween, Fleshlight helps you get your sex toy on with a monster motif.
And just in case The Drac doesn’t exactly get your blood crawling, you have a variety to choose cum. Er, from.
