FEAR: False Expectations Appearing Real
Everybody seems to be afraid these days. If you lost your job, you’re afraid you won’t be able to pay your bills. If you have a job, you’re afraid you may lose it. You might be afraid about the economic recession, about how it will affect your finances or your future.
Fear is a great tactic to control people’s behavior; we see advertising messaging all the time prompting fear: ”DON’T MISS” (or you won’t keep up), “LAST CHANCE” (or you may miss out), “LIMITED TIME” (or there won’t be enough). Scare tactics work extremely well because they play on something everybody has. All that’s necessary is to suggest fear and it feeds itself.
What is behind fear? What makes a human being afraid? The unknown. We are all creatures of habit; even if we do not resist change, most of us would not prefer it. We like what we know. The problem that arises from this natural preference is that nothing great ever rises if no fear exists. Fear motivates action and creates possibility. It is only through fear that a human being is able to reach a new level. There’s just no motivation if there’s no challenge.
The important thing to focus on is that fear is not real. Just because you are afraid something is going to happen, doesn’t mean it’s going to, unless you keep thinking about it. Instead, think about replacing that fear with something you DO want and concentrate on that: a new opportunity.
My Yoga teacher sent me a story:
An elder monk was teaching a younger monk about life. He said: “A terrible fight is going on inside me between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, pride, and superiority. The other wolf stands for possibility joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. All day long they fight each other everyday.
The younger monk asked, “Which wolf wins?”
The older monk replied, “Whichever wolf I feed the most.”
$@bs
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BRIAN on 02.25.2009
What’s this no jokes? I didn’t know it was that kind of blog.
The $@bs on 02.25.2009
I know, right? I didn’t think I was capable of a serious post! Don’t worry, I’ll be back to my wise ass self tomorrow – I just have PMS!
Teresa on 02.25.2009
It’s true, unemployment makes you sappier and more serious (I’m using ‘you’ in that universal ‘you’ way here). And PMS, too, yeah.
The great thing about this recession is that it’s scared everyone shitless, which means people are changing and adapting like crazy to maintain their personal status quo. We’re being forced to rethink our careers and lives. It’s kind of a little bit on the awesome side. Right now we have no choice but to grab fear by the balls and shake it right thefuck on out of ourselves to move forward.
Awesome post!
niceguyted on 02.27.2009
I use the two wolves parable all the time – both when advising others and when dealing with my own issues. In my head, it’s a younger indian and his “grandfather”. Solid post, Sabs.