I know i’m defying my Y chromosome in saying this, but there’s far far too much to go wrong up there to make it attractive to me. It’s hotbed of germs and ripe for infection, not to mention the fact that the build-up can take a looong time before it’s any way comfortable for the female partner.

Interestingly, something most doctors won’t tell you is that HIV rates in gay men are higher because infection can enter the bloodstream more easily through a tear in the anal walls, which were not built to stretch like the vaginal canal is. After all, you don’t have a squeeze a baby out of your arse. Some couples have unprotected vaginal sex with one positive partner who doesn’t ever pass it on to the negative partner. But really – even if you THINK you’re completely clean up there, imagine the health risks in even one little smear of poo being rubbed into an open wound. Ew.