Glossary
ASSAHOLEIC- noun; one who cannot stop him/herself from being an asshole and indulging in general douchebaggery. Ex.:
“He-who-must-not-be-named was being a Jerkoffsky again today. Why is he such a condescending prick?”
“Dude, he’s an assaholeic, he just can’t help it. It’s a disease.”
“Damn, is there a cure?”
“Possibly death, but it’s still uncertain.”
BADITUDE - noun; bad attitude. Ex.”
“That baditude is gonna get him bitch slapped (on the real).”
CALOREMORSE - noun; the inevitable regret of having eaten something calorically catastrophic, i.e McDonald’s, Cinnabon. Ex.:
“I just had a biggie size #5 and I’m having a serious case of caloRemorse… and the farts.”
CUNT – noun; an awesome word that I use all the time (so get used to it).
Ex.: ”Don’t tell me not to say cunt, Cunt.”
DICKSTRACTION - noun; some guy you fuck to get over someone else – a rebound specifically designed for sexual purposes. Ex.:
“So I slept with Dexter last night.”
“But you just broke up with John yesterday.”
“Yea, I needed a dickStraction really badly. It worked!”
HIDATEUS - noun; to take a break from dating. Ex.:
“I totally want to set you up with that cute guy from the gym with the care bear tattoo.”
“No can do, I’m taking a hidatus, remember?”
“Oh, right, sorry. Well, he might be gay anyway.”
KENNY BLOGGINS - noun; someone who does nothing but sit at the computer and obsess over his/her blog day in and day out. Ex.:
“Hey, Kenny Bloggins, have you gotten up from that chair to eat, sleep, or shit in the last 3 days?”
“I don’t need to eat, sleep, or shit. I’m blogging. Now vamoose.”
LEGACY RELATIONSHIT - noun; a relationship you have for years, from which you get no particular enjoyment, but are unable to terminate in light of the history you both share. Ex:
“I have to have dinner with Roxanne tonight. ”
“You’re always bitching about her, why do you even still speak?”
“It’s a legacy relationshit, I’ve been friends with her since grade school.”
NiTWEET – noun, what I feel like after a day of typos / dumb mistakes on Twitter. Ex.:
“I just retweeted myself, I’m being such a niTweet!”
PITA – noun; pain in the ass. Ex.:
“HTML coding is a serious PITA.”
SEINFREUD - noun; a funny that makes you think… Ex.:
“So that was Taking My Tampon Out on the Subway Part I”
“Good God there’s a Part II?”
“No….Sucka! I just scored a SeinFreud, BURN.“
TUBS - noun; total ultimate butt shelf. Ex.:
“Damn, check out the junk in the trunk. I could rest a tea tray on that TUBS.”
UJ - adjective; abbreviation for ‘usual’. Ex.:
” I’ve been surfing the web all day; as per uj.”
