She reported that the “…final offer is standing. Hopefully, it will go through.” Playboy has offered her $400,000 for a fully nude spread. (And by spread, of course I mean her legs.) However, JWoww’s contract with MTV may prevent her from posing naked for the men’s entertainment mag.

All of that could change if she finds new work. She recently stated that she’s declined two reality show offers from NBC and is holding out for her own show with “Snooki” which, according to “Snooki”, would be, “Us living together and trying to make a living“. Translation: continuing their trashy, debauched, alcoholic, ho-bag lifestyle…

The woman said, in the Jerseyest of Jersey accents, “So she says, ‘So come to LA.’ So we says, so we can’t cuz the dawg. So she says ‘So bring the dawg.’ So we’re bringin’ the dawg ta LA!’ My father stared in wonder as the woman left the bank and asked the teller who she was. The teller replied that the woman was Tara Reid’s mother. My father, who has yet to visit an ATM, responded, “What is a Tara Reid?”

The answer to this age old questions is: A rich debauched alcoholic hobag with a botched boob job; and this is why she’s famous. Of course Playboy has to get a piece of the Z-list celeb action by exposing us all to her bad breast augmentation surgery… again. We’ve already seen her naked – who decided she might get better looking by aging? Not I, said the little red hen.