If you haven’t heard all of the hubbub about the new TSA Scanners, well you probably live in a cave. If you opt-out of the scan, you have the luxury of being fondled by a stranger in apparently a most intrusive fashion. If you submit to the scan, then your naked image is saved and in the power of some no-name GED obtained moron who will do God knows what with it. Most likely they’ll sell it online to some porn site; and if you’re a guy, then some gay porn site.
But wait! There’s more! In case none of this is embarrassing enough, a radiologist at Lenox Hill Hospital stated that TSA scanners can learn a lot more about your health history via the scanners. The medical expert stated, “The airport scanners show anything on the surface of the skin and very closely under the skin.” What other goodies will be visible to TSA staff?
Piercings, catheters, and colostomy bags in addition to breast implants (these are easy to spot regardless) and prosthetic testicles will be easily recognizable on the scanner screen. Moreover, the X-ray technology can also tell if a man is circumcised or not. With all of this in mind, I’m prepared for a good groping this busy holiday travel season. Hey, I could use a little action anyway. (Dry spell.)
Playboy Forces Us See Tara Reid Naked… Again
I happened to have had the misfortune of growing up in the same town as Tara Reid. We went to the same grade school and my father still lives in the same house in which I grew up. One day he was in line at the bank when he happened to hear a conversation going on between the teller and the woman in front of him.
The woman said, in the Jerseyest of Jersey accents, “So she says, ‘So come to LA.’ So we says, so we can’t cuz the dawg. So she says ‘So bring the dawg.’ So we’re bringin’ the dawg ta LA!’ My father stared in wonder as the woman left the bank and asked the teller who she was. The teller replied that the woman was Tara Reid’s mother. My father, who has yet to visit an ATM, responded, “What is a Tara Reid?”
The answer to this age old questions is: A rich debauched alcoholic hobag with a botched boob job; and this is why she’s famous. Of course Playboy has to get a piece of the Z-list celeb action by exposing us all to her bad breast augmentation surgery… again. We’ve already seen her naked – who decided she might get better looking by aging? Not I, said the little red hen.
