Everyone who has had fears about having a heart attack at a Swiss whorehouse can now breathe a sigh of relief. Swiss prostitutes are now being trained to use defibrillators when needed. Brothel owners say it’s important to have electric shock treatment on-site in case one of their many elderly customers need to jump start their hearts from too much excitement.
The most recent victim was just having some fun with anti-impotence medication, and wound up giving the term ‘Die Hard’ new definition. His death is only one in a series of incidents of old men croaking in a similar fashion .
Defibrillators work by delivering a controlled electric shock to the heart to restore a normal heartbeat, after it has stopped. Reports indicate that Health professionals support the idea of stocking brothels and sex clubs with defibrillators in sex clubs and brothels. One brothel owner stated, “Having customers die on us isn’t exactly good publicity“. (Ya think???)
Brothel’s Opening Day Draws Huge… Crowds
Opening day at the first legal brothel in Toowoomba, Australia was surprisingly described as so laid back it was almost a family occasion. (Um, I don’t know what they do with their families…)
Apparently husbands, wives, friends and grown children stopped in at the opening and many were impressed with the quality of the establishment and the discreet street frontage. (This is one high-class whorehouse!)
Police were on standby in case demonstrations were planned, but there were no problems. The developer stated that the opening went well and that by the end of the day about a thousand people had passed through the door.
Locals reported having heard about the event and thought it would be interesting to see the inside of a brothel. (Like some fucking museum, literally.) One attendee stated, “I’ve never been in a brothel before and we heard this is the only chance to see it without being a client.” (Did your wife buy that one too?)
Desperate times call for desperate measures; in all industries. Recently German brothels began offering customers the chance to sleep with as many prostitutes as they want for one flat rate. The promotion is based on the ‘all-you-can-eat buffet’ model and was introduced by brothel owners in response to the 30% decrease in business the trade has experienced since the economic downturn.
The flat-rate deals, priced as low as £60 (about $100), have generated controversy in the country despite that prostitution is legal and has been historically well-tolerated. But certain politicians have expressed disgust at the recession-busting deals, stating that, “So-called flat-rate sex is an immoral development which cannot be tolerated in our society.” (But isn’t the idea of prostitution itself a little questionable in that regard?)
The vocal minority of politicians who object to the promotion have ordered police raids on the clubs to bring the offer to an end. However, since the promotion is not illegal, officers have focused raids on immigration and hygiene issues where the promotion has been introduced.
Other promotional ideas have included rebates for pensioners and men on benefits, 10% discounts for cyclists and men arriving by public transport, and free shoe-polishing for customers who stay overnight. (Overnight??? Um… ew.)
Two Scandinavian police officers sacrificed their Swedish meatballs in an undercover sting set up to expose a prostitution ring operating in 5 massage parlors scattered from Stockholm to Gävle in eastern Sweden.
The bawdy houses were busted (pun intended) when two male officers visited two separate parlors and agreed to remove all their clothing, upon which, each was offered “extra” special treatment. I’m sure the officers found the operation hard (that’s what she said). The proprietors of the establishments were charged with ‘big pimpin‘.
$@bs
While prostitution is not illegal in America Jr., operating a brothel is. As a result, Canadian sex workers organized to overturn laws that prohibit bawdy houses just in time for the 2010 Olympics. The games are scheduled to take place in Vancouver next year and by that time Canadian hookers hoped to create a situation for themselves similar to that of the many massage parlours that now operate as fronts for paid sex. Supporters of the new legislation argued that under the former law, Canadian prostitutes couldn’t work indoors and were putting themselves in more danger by working on the streets. It looks as though they made their case, and judges have approved a legal co-op brothel in time for the games.
Legislation aside, prostitutes in Canada are already in training for the Olympics, but wait, not like that (insert disappointing ‘aww’ here). A local organization dedicated to providing support to Vancouver’s sex workers plans to prep them on how to handle requests for photographs and interviews during the 2010 games. A spokeswoman for the Prostitution Alternatives Counselling and Education Society (PACE) told the Canadian Press. “Media attention to the area can be a little less than compassionate and we don’t want them to feel like animals in a zoo.” That is, unless they are good, paying customers.
$@bs
