Man Claims Stolen Goods Were Sex Toys
Patrolling officers first saw the 34 year-old walking around with an empty bag early in the morning last week. The man was stopped a few hours later when the same officers noticed that the bag he had been toting around was suddenly and inexplicably very full.
When asked about the bag’s contents, the man claimed that it was full of his ex-wife’s sex toys. (I know I always travel with my ex’s sex toys.) Checking the bag, the officers found another man’s wallet, a couple’s checkbook, lottery tickets, a GPS device, CDs, an American Express receipt, a couple of parking tickets, two cell phone chargers, a pink iPod, a camera, a Nissan key, gold charms and a watch. (Exactly what sort of sex game was this?)
Authorities soon determined that the items were from three cars nearby that had been broken into. The man was charged with burglarizing the vehicles and two counts each of receiving stolen property and felony larceny. Police said more charges are expected as the investigation progresses (such as falsely advertising sex toys).
A 58-year-old former mayor was arrested after women from Presall, UK, reported that their underwear was disappearing repeatedly from their homes.
One woman was so upset that she installed a surveillance camera in her bedroom, which caught footage of a semi-naked man rifling through her bureau and putting on her underwear before jerking off.
The investigation that ensued uncovered a collection of panties (turned manties) that matched those reported stolen at the home of the mayor, who was immediately arrested on suspicions of burglary.
Local authorities reported that the suspect is currently out on bail after being questioned. He has since stepped down from his post in light of the arrest. No reports indicate whether the panties are in police custody as evidence. (Disappointing sigh.)
Sex Offender Busted By Burglars
A 24 year old man from North Yorkshire, UK was sentenced to three and a half years in prison after thieves discovered images and video footage of child abuse and child pornography on his stolen laptop and went to police. The laptop was stolen during a burglary in August of last year. However, once the burglars saw the content on the laptop, they turned it over to authorities by way of a tip off. The detective handling the case commented that even though the thieves were committing a crime themselves, it’s commendable that they helped bring a serious offender to justice.
Under investigation, the suspect confessed to downloading child pornography and speaking to underage girls in chat rooms, one of whom he had exposed himself to via webcam. When questioned, the girl admitted that she had felt degraded and humiliated, resorting to self harm.
The judge presiding over the case ruled that the suspect ‘conducted a calculated scam against the girl’ and sentenced him to three and a half years in prison. In addition he’s been banned from working with children for the rest of his life and will be issued with a ’sexual offences prevention order’.
Since the arrest, a 38-year-old man and a 20-year-old woman were arrested in connection with the theft. Both were sentenced to 12-month community order.
PS: This guy kind of looks like someone I used to work with; which makes me giggle.
An 18 year old broke into his neighbor’s house on Wednesday while the resident was away; taking nothing from the home, but only cutting his pubic hair and leaving the trimmings behind (like some f*cked cat’s gift).
Remorseful about his behavior, the man later confessed to the woman who owned the house. Not surprisingly, she immediately then called local Greenwich police.
The man was charged Thursday night with first-degree burglary and is scheduled to appear in court on Friday. My question: Are the pubes now in police custody for DNA testing? “You ARE the father (of the pubes).”
