A Canadian man had just boarded a flight when he began to feel discomfort in his groin. Inspecting himself in the bathroom, he noticed that his genitals were bleeding. (Un)Naturally he sent for a male flight attendant to examine his bloody penis. Shockingly, the flight attendant refused and instead, simply handed the passenger some tissues. Upon landing, the passenger was admitted to a local hospital where doctors diagnosed him with a ruptured vein.
The passenger now claims that the flight attendant ruined his vacation and is now suing the airline for $8,000. (It also may have had something to do with the fact that his dick was bleeding.) Even if the flight attendant acquiesced to looking at the hemorrhaging cock, what exactly did he expect someone who’s NOT a medical professional to do? Suck out the poison? The Canadian judge felt similarly and rejected the case.
Nothing builds excitement like porn (well, except maybe Pontiac). A man from Mississauga, Canada, was caught Saturday when another driver contacted authorities about a speeding car whose driver was watching porn. (Giving the term ‘Go Speed Racer’ new meaning).
Police confirmed that when pulled over, the man was clocking almost 90 mph (I converted km to m, you’re welcome, America) and had an X-rated movie playing on a portable DVD player in the passenger seat.
After investigating his defense that he confused his member with his stick shift (I might have made that part up), the man was ultimately charged with speeding and operating a motor vehicle with a television visible to the driver (that part is true).
Witnesses are still trying to determine exactly which porn was being viewed that resulted in such excessive speed. Any guesses, dear readers?
While prostitution is not illegal in America Jr., operating a brothel is. As a result, Canadian sex workers organized to overturn laws that prohibit bawdy houses just in time for the 2010 Olympics. The games are scheduled to take place in Vancouver next year and by that time Canadian hookers hoped to create a situation for themselves similar to that of the many massage parlours that now operate as fronts for paid sex. Supporters of the new legislation argued that under the former law, Canadian prostitutes couldn’t work indoors and were putting themselves in more danger by working on the streets. It looks as though they made their case, and judges have approved a legal co-op brothel in time for the games.
Legislation aside, prostitutes in Canada are already in training for the Olympics, but wait, not like that (insert disappointing ‘aww’ here). A local organization dedicated to providing support to Vancouver’s sex workers plans to prep them on how to handle requests for photographs and interviews during the 2010 games. A spokeswoman for the Prostitution Alternatives Counselling and Education Society (PACE) told the Canadian Press. “Media attention to the area can be a little less than compassionate and we don’t want them to feel like animals in a zoo.” That is, unless they are good, paying customers.
$@bs
Couple Caught Having Sex in Dumpster
Talk about trash! A police officer in Saanich, Canada following up on a call of “suspicious persons”, arrived at a parking lot where he heard noises coming from a large garbage dumpster. The officer called out, but no one responded. When he looked inside, he was shocked to see two naked adults engaged in intercourse and oblivious to his presence.
The 30-year-old woman and a 26-year-old man, were ordered to put their clothes on and get out of the dumpster. The man was arrested on an unrelated matter and the woman was told to go home (and to come back later – winkedy wink wink). Who knew the Canucks had it in ‘em?
$@bs
