Man Charged After Home Neutering Fail
Just in case you’re thinking of neutering your cat at home, don’t! A man now faces charges of animal cruelty after tying an elastic band around his cat’s testicles in an effort to fix his pet. He was initially charged after he took his black cat, Shadow, to a local animal hospital suffering from a serious infection.
The veterinarian reported that the cat’s scrotum was badly infected and the smell of rotting flesh was obvious. Though the cat’s testicles were intact, the skin and supporting muscle had died and rotted. The veterinarian continued that had the cat not been brought in, he would most likely have died.
In his defense, the man told the judge that he went along with the elastic-around-the-scrotum idea after a friend told him it was “an old farmer’s trick.” (PS, that’s why farmers aren’t veterinarians.) The man was on welfare at the time and could not afford to have the cat properly neutered at a clinic. This friend (some woman he’d known for less than four hours) reassured the man that the elastic band would not cause the cat pain and would force its testicles fall off in 30 days.
During the court proceedings, veterinary professionals testified that it’s true that elastic-band castration techniques are sometimes used with livestock like sheep and cattle. However, in those cases, special elastics are used that are very strong and exert extreme pressure on the connecting tissues, veins and tubes beneath the skin. Also, that has never been a technique as it relates to cats.
The prosecuting attorney stated that the man should known his way of neutering his pet would cause it pain and distress. (Seriously, I mean he has testicles too, right?) He went on to say, “It doesn’t take an expert to know that putting an elastic around your testicles hurts. Ignorance is not a legal defense.”
The cat’s infection was treated and he was properly neutered. He declined to comment on the recent unpleasantness.
Police are charging a man of Jensen Beach, Florida for possession of child pornography; finding more than 1,000 images on his personal computer.
In response to the allegations, the man told police he was only downloading music and had left the room when his cat jumped on the keyboard.
He stated that when he returned “strange things” appeared on the screen. (Even stranger, he saved them to jerk off to later, apparently.)
The man is being held in a local county jail on $250,000 bail. No charges have been filed against the cat, who is being detained for questioning but denies the accusations of having downloaded ‘kitty porn’.
Waiving his right to remain silent, in an interview with local news, the cat had this to say, “MEOOOOW”. No word from the prosecution attorney on whether his statement will be used as evidence in the pending case.
