Can’t Help But Be a Part of It: NY, NY
I took this weekend off from the computer and felt like I was cheating on my blog. To my defense, I was out of town, and when I am, it is no more evident that I should not be leaving my city. Recently I’ve been expressing frustration with New York for months now, but even though I enjoy leaving, I’m not sure other cities enjoy my visit.
Par example: I had to take a shuttle from O’Hare Airport to the hotel at which I was staying. The Native American driver, whom I like to call Chief Molasses Ass, was driving BELOW the speed limit. I had to exert a lot of control over my mouth to refrain from asking whether he wouldn’t mind going a little bit faster (like the speed limit, just for instance).
The driver was too busy engaged in conversation with the other passengers on the shuttle, namely a couple from Rochester and a woman from Ft. Lauderdale. I couldn’t roll my eyes back far enough. I had to turn on my iPod at maximum volume to drone out their meaningless and ever-so-irritating chit chat.
When I was finally the last passenger left, I thought that would get things moving, but no. He wanted to be my private tour guide and insisted on telling me everything he knew about every street, building and anything else we passed. There was only one way out: I faked a phone call and chatted with myself for the last ten minutes of the torturous ride, until after what seemed like eternity, we finally reached my destination.
The point of this story: while NYC tends to be too much, every other city is just not enough: not diverse enough, not cool enough and definitely not fast enough! In short, I don’t think another city is big enough for me and my attitude.
$@bs
Back in the home skillet of NYC. My trip to Chicago was wonderfully quiet. I picked a hotel in the middle of nowhere so as to avoid people; I didn’t want to risk running into the paparazzi and all! Twas quite enjoyable getting away from the masses. There are far too many people here for my taste and in all honesty, I’m rather sick of ‘em all up in my snuffaluffagus everywhere I turn. Time for the Sabs to 23 skidoo? Perchance to dream…
On a completely unrelated topic, I’ve been increasingly interested in the Subway/Quiznos showdown. Who hasn’t suffered from the Subway’s $5 foot long jingle ear worm? Impossible to exterminate! 
Subway is the recognized leader in this market and Quiznos’ attempt to stake claim on a piece o’ that market share pie is a coy lil’ marketing campaign promoting their Toasty Torpedo, “12 inches of flavor” promised by a smoky-voiced toaster that asks a chef to “Put it in me.”
This is a little too close to when George Costanza tried to mix food and sex and “flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami“, “combining food and sex into one disgusting uncontrollable urge”… Hotness.
$@bs
