Mother Destroys Giant Snow Penis
How much more memorable would the song have been if the lyrics were “Frosty The Snow Cock?” According to one pretty fucking funny Brit, MUCH more memorable.
Instead of your traditional snowman, he decided to celebrate the season by surprising his mother by constructing an enormous snowpenis on their front lawn.
Even better: He videotapes her reaction and posts it on Youtube. Although she initially seems amused, she ultimately ruins it. Boo! Damn funny nonetheless – click here to watch! Cheers, mate!
Man Nearly Castrates Himself
Like playing Toad in the Hole? Who doesn’t? Well, maybe the guy that almost forfeited his cock in the process… A Colombian man came close to castrating himself (closer to not cumming at all) with an improvised penis ring before running into the streets butt-ass naked. Cops spotted the man wandering around naked with a ring around his dick that’s normally used to play the pub game “toad in the hole“. The ring was shoved over his penis so that it was cutting off the blood supply to his prick. When questioned, the man admitted that he had had shoved the toy ring over his dick to increase the pleasure of masturbating, but was then unable to remove it. Doctors were able to remove the ring, as blood had begun clotting in the penis.
Had he not received immediate medical attention, this could have caused gangrene, forcing doctors to amputate the penis. Unfortunately, the doctors were not able to prevent damage to the dick, and the man is now facing an erection deficiency as his penis “will no longer have elasticity.” Following the procedure, the man was sent to the local mental hospital and given anti-inflammatory medication so the swollen penis could return to normal size. Psychiatrists stated that the man was suffering from an extreme form of exhibitionism and sex-addiction. (More like sex-adDICKtion – Ohhhh! BOO-YA!)
The Curved Cock Conundrum
Not straight, (but not necessarily gay), the curved cock phenomenon is not at all uncommon. Most penises curve at least a little; they can even point down when erect (owie). According to medical professionals, the only problem with anything more than a 30-degree deviation is the possibility that it can limit the number of sexual positions comfortable for both partners. In that case there are procedures that can help straighten you out.
The treatment to straighten curvature is a surgery called plication. It actually sounds quite horrible and uses such disturbing language as “degloving the penis” and “pulling the skin down”, but essentially the procedure shortens the longer side of the penis so both sides match. Though many men feel self conscious of any curvature, from a woman’s perspective, curving in the right direction is not at all a bad thing. Sometimes the curve can result in easier access to just the right spot!
Learn How to Deep Throat
Now you, too, can learn how to deep throat in the privacy and comfort of your own home! Many thanks to my girl J. Lav for hookin’ us up with this article. You may be asking yourself, “Why would I want to learn how to deep throat?” Well, in addition to your aspirations of being a porn star, if you don’t like the taste of semen (and who really does) deep throating almost completely eliminates the taste.
This article provides step-by-step instructions on how to deep throat, including diagrams of the anatomy. Learn how to control your gag reflex and relax your tongue so you can slide a cock down your throat. Discover beginner to advanced level techniques, like ‘the throat massage’, a swallowing technique that’s like a massage along the entire length of a cock. So don’t waste another day; you could be throat fucking in no time!
For the complete article, click here.
*WARNING: Do not practice on hot dogs.
A paramedic accused of having oral sex while on duty claims he was only trying to comfort a sobbing woman. (Not sure exactly how that comforts her.) The (married) man was caught on video surveillance in the passenger seat of the woman’s car with her head in his lap in a hospital parking lot in South London.
The paramedic denied the allegations at a practice hearing and insists that no sexual activity took place during the incident. The woman commented, but her statement was unintelligible being that she had a c*ck rammed down her throat.
