Man Caught Stealing TV Naked
Next time you want to burglarize a house, you may want to put on a pair of pants… or at least a tie. A man from Bridgeport, CT was caught naked stealing a wide-screen TV from a home in Norwalk. The 35-year-old was arrested after the homeowner’s daughter found him lurking around the house in the buff. According to the suspect, he met the mother at a bar earlier in the evening and had cum home with her. (Emphasis on cum; sex AND a wide screen = double word score.)
He told police that the woman owed him money, but the woman said she left the house after the suspect threatened to punch her in the face. (Nice of her to leave her daughter there with him, though.) Following the woman’s departure, the man carried the TV into his van, then returned to the house for the remote, where he was discovered. The man was charged with larceny, possessing drug paraphernalia and other charges
Police in Stratford, CT, reported arresting a 41 year-old man who showed up at his dentist’s office naked; five days late for his appointment. (He must have gotten his clock from the same guy the white rabbit bought his two-day-late watch.) Upon his arrival, the female receptionist screamed, and he bolted.
When officers went to to his home for questioning, the man claimed to have been sleeping all day. He was taken back to the dental office, whereupon the receptionist identified him. He has been charged with disorderly conduct, public indecency (more like pubic indecency) and failure to comply with fingerprinting. The man declined comment, but sources have identified him as The Emperor. No one can confirm whether he has yet been informed that he has no clothes on.
