Quite possibly the biggest schmuck on the planet, a man bashed and choked his girlfriend until she blacked out when she tried to engage him in a threesome. The woman brought along a female friend on a camping trip, during which she confessed to her boyfriend that she was bisexual. She even supplied the party with alcohol to make him “more receptive” to the notion of a threesome. (Because most men need to be persuaded to have sex with two women at once, right?)
But just as things started getting good and the two girls became more involved with each other, homeboy decided to bounce. He stormed off in his car and quickly and drunkenly crashed into bushes. His girlfriend ran after him and attempted to take the car keys from him. At this point, the drama was unfolding in front of many other campers. As his girlfriend grabbed at the keys, the man slapped her and shoved her to the ground.
The girlfriend then tried to run off, but the man punched her in the head, chest and back before choking her until she blacked out. She suffered bruising and a sore neck but recovered, while her stupid and shady boyfriend spent the night and next day in jail. He pled guilty to two counts of assault and received a three-month jail sentence, suspended on condition of good behaviour for two years. You would think that this would be the end of their relationship, but actually, sources report that the couple has since become engaged. (Congrats, Ike Turner.)
Trucker Flips Trailer Driving and Jerking
A trucker reportedly driving high was masturbating and lost control of the vehicle, flipping the truck and blocking multiple lanes of traffic.
You would think a car accident might distract him from the job at hand (literally), but no. Committed to the act, the trucker kept right on spankin’ it. Even during the police interrogation, he just kept on keepin’ on.
The trucker confessed to pleasuring himself while driving, resulting in his loss of control of the vehicle. The accident shut down one direction of traffic entirely and closed one lane traveling in the other direction.
My only question: so did the guy ever cum or not???
Fake Foreigner Drummer Steals Corvette
I absolutely loved this story. Some guy convinces a woman that he’s the drummer from Foreigner so he can shang-hai her corvette. Then he crashes. He ends up getting hunted down by dogs and is now facing multiple charges including grand theft auto. My question is, since there have been at least a dozen different drummers, which one was he claiming to be? Read full article…
$@bs
