Anytime some white baseball capped frat boy dude-bro even looked my way all I had to do was merely raise an arm and all I’d see in his place was a puff of smoke. I would smile wryly. It’s been years since I went back to shaving.

One of my friend’s mothers actually approached me after I decided to shave and said, “I just want you to know how happy I am that you’re shaving again.” I guess some people were really bothered: all the more reason to have continued the rebellion.

The reason for the no deodorant factor was just the Alzheimer’s myth. It’s only been about a year that I’ve been back on the deo. I finally broke down when my good friend said, “Sabs, you know I love you, but sometimes you stink.”

The message was pretty clear: the hippie oils weren’t cutting it anymore. At least my good chum was kind enough to let me know.

Yet, even after I made the switch back to deo, I tell ya, the shit still doesn’t work – half way through the day I still ripen like a sweet piece of fruit; then I fall off the vine.

Incidentally, I keep deo in my desk drawer for the mid-day stank. I also keep toothpaste, shampoo, dental floss, nail polish remover, eye liner, nail files, tampons, baby powder, and lotion.

Hey you never know. The one thing that should be in there is a razor. I start getting a 5:00 shadow under my arms at 3:00 (not just smelly, but hairy too – WOW)! God, I’m so hot.