“Is that a Big Mac in your pocket or are you just stealing off the dollar menu?” McDonald’s employees at a store in South Carolina called police when a woman bought a sandwich and shoved it down her pants, insisting that her order wasn’t complete.
The woman had purchased two sandwiches and two small coffees, then took one of the sandwiches and put it down the front her jeans, demanding a free one. Staff called 911 after the woman became belligerent when they refused to give her a free sandwich. The responding officer stated that he could hear the woman screaming profanity at the cashier when he went into the McDonald’s.
Upon arrival, he asked the hysterical woman to step outside, noticing a large grease stain on the front of her pants. The woman denied having stolen the sandwich until a female officer arrived on the scene to search her. At that point, the woman pulled the sandwich out of her pants and put it on the hood of the police car while she continued to shout obscenities, reeking of alcohol. Convinced she had stolen more, the officers searched her, but what they initially thought was a Filet-O-Fish, turned out to be her vagina. She was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct. The sandwich was not available for comment.
Woman Attempts to Evade Cops by Stripping
Police followed a woman home last week accused of stealing beef jerky and a lighter from a convenience store. Authorities say that she refused to answer the door when they arrived at her residence, becoming belligerent and argumentative.
She then began berating her three children, loudly blaming one for her shoplifting incident. When police entered the home in order to stabilize the situation, they say that the woman began to strip in front of the three children, asserting that the officers could not arrest her naked. (See how wrong you can be?)
Resisting arrest, she kicked an officer in the groin and spit at another. Police continued that she then exposed herself against the cruiser window, and registered a blood-alcohol level of 0.112 percent.
The woman is now facing charges of felony battery of an officer, resisting an officer, shoplifting and two counts of disorderly conduct.
Police in Stratford, CT, reported arresting a 41 year-old man who showed up at his dentist’s office naked; five days late for his appointment. (He must have gotten his clock from the same guy the white rabbit bought his two-day-late watch.) Upon his arrival, the female receptionist screamed, and he bolted.
When officers went to to his home for questioning, the man claimed to have been sleeping all day. He was taken back to the dental office, whereupon the receptionist identified him. He has been charged with disorderly conduct, public indecency (more like pubic indecency) and failure to comply with fingerprinting. The man declined comment, but sources have identified him as The Emperor. No one can confirm whether he has yet been informed that he has no clothes on.
