Penis Size Depends on Other Guys… For Ducks
A new study at Yale University has found that the length of a duck’s penis depends on the other ducks with whom he flocks. The study showed that a duck’s dick experiences significant shrinkage at the end of a given breeding season, and then RE-grows when the next season begins. Junk regeneration varies depending on overall penal competition in the flock. (Cockpetition? CompeDICKtion?)
Presented at the Animal Behavior Society annual meeting, the study therefore suggests that social circumstances influence penis growth in vertebrates and that extra length may give a male an advantage in delivering sperm in females with multiple mates. Unfortunately, no information has been obtained on whether any other species responds to sexual competition in the same way.
Have you ever had the urge to smack someone in the head with your dick? If so, you’ll be able to relate to a certain Lithuanian who was fined roughly $925 for attempting to assault a policewoman with his penis. The 28-year-old engineer tried to dick slap the officer in the head when she responded to a complaint filed by his girlfriend.
The officer had sat down on the couch inside the residence to take the complaint when the man exposed himself and thrust his penis toward her. Sadly, the officer managed to duck out of the way. The man admitted to having been drunk at the time of the incident (obvi). Personally, I’d have paid top dollar to obtain footage of the encounter.
