Updates to Tickle Your Funny Bone
Well, they don’t really make you laugh as much as make your eyes roll to the back of your head and stay there. You know the updates of which I speak:
Whether on Twitter or Facebook, updates such as “Having my morning coffee“, “Off to lunch“, “Spaghettios for dinner tonight“, “Listening to (insert dumb song here)” just don’t seem to have much of a point. Why are you clogging up my stream with your nonsense? (That’s what she said?) If you don’t have anything interesting to say, why say anything at all?
Teacher Fired for Drawing Phallic Florida
Seems like teachers everywhere are causing controversy. After reading the story discussed in yesterday’s post, it was clear why the homework raised eyebrows all over. However, the incident in question today is no less than retardo (it’s an industry term).
A middle school teacher was fired after drawing a map of the United States which featured Florida as a fat, penis-shaped state (which it is). He then made a remark about the state being excited. Apparently that was enough to get him canned. The district fired him for the comment, insisting he created a sexually hostile environment. (Exactly what was he doing with the lewd drawing of the state?)
To no surprise the students rallied on Facebook, starting a page to support their teacher. They’ve also started a petition to dump the school’s principal, superintendent and cabinet. The teacher has stated that he’ll be appeal his firing (not to mention refraining from drawing state maps freehand).
A dancer who goes by the stage-name Cherry Dazzle, has had trouble with Facebook in the past over questionable pics.
She received warnings about a photo of herself backflipping out of the vagina of a giant female statue. Another incident involved an image of her breasts covered in flame-shaped pasties. But it wasn’t until the dancer got pregnant that Facebook finally canceled her account.
The termination occurred after the woman uploaded this photo of her pregnant body, wearing only a thong, gold pasties and glitter, as her profile picture.
She wasn’t even really naked, but that didn’t matter to the site’s administrators, who have yanked photos of other breast-feeding mothers from profile pages in the past.
The woman wants to know why Facebook hates the pregnant female form and states, “I think people are terrified of the vagina or something.” Word. (Bet if it was a man’s pregnant body it wouldn’t have been an issue; sexists.)
‘Topless Nun’ sues over Facebook pic
Just in case you needed another reason NOT to let anyone take lewd pics of you, just remember that you never know when you’ll receive your calling…
(Oh, and God’s not calling you to tell you your topless pics are posted on Facebook).
A young woman, now also known as the ‘Topless Nun’, is suing her ex-boyfriend for a topless picture taken on a Sicilian beach they visited three years ago, which he recently posted on Facebook.
The 31 year woman, meant to take her vows this fall, is extremely upset about the photo, which is eliciting such comments like:
”If all nuns were like her, I’d become a priest.”
You See, You See? I Told You So!
So I finally gave in and joined facebook. The first half hour was interesting, as the automated system generated a bunch of people I actually knew: some I added as friends, others I did not.
In the extremely short time I’ve been on, it’s already started creating problems. Was chatting with someone I haven’t spoken to in every bit of, oh, say 10 years at least. Boy, was he ever still a cocky prick – DELETE. This reminded me instantly of why we stopped speaking to begin with.
I won’t even get into other issues, but I will give an example of why I’m very wary. When I was still on Myspace, I reprioritized my top friends and inadvertently deleted one. Next thing I knew
she was all kinds of pissed at me for taking her off of my top friends; I didn’t even realize I had!
Now let’s say, just for the sake of argument (hypothetically speaking, of course), that your boyfriend didn’t have himself listed as ‘in a relationship’. What would that mean to you? And the drama continues…
If not for my obsession with social media at present, I would have deleted my account tout motherfucking suite. And another thing, Vonnegut…
The Votes Are In!!!
After an overwhelming response (fine, 6 votes), the results are in and it looks as though I’ll be creating a facebook account (the agony of defeat)!
There was only one vote of ‘no’ and it was mine – drats, foiled again!
$@bs
Winter of My Gastrointestinal Discontent
Lately I cannot eat enough carbs or dairy; I’ve exceeded my own expectations in terms of how to concoct this ultimate combination.
I also made chicken parm with angel hair and ate it with warm Italian bread for lunch yesterday and dinner the night before.
I just can’t bring myself to eat anything cold in the winter and even when I can get a vegetable down my hatch it’s usually a mashed potato smothered in butter and cheddar cheese; another of my earthly delights.
As a non sequitur, I’ve been thinking of breaking down and getting on facebook.
But seriously, what is the point? All of the people I want to keep in my life I make an effort to stay in contact with.
Do I really need all the ex-ghosts of boyfriends past sending me friend requests?
It’s kind of why I got off of myspace; even though I still have an account under a pseudonym for myspying purposes.
Let me know by voting in the new poll on the top right.
