Flasher Claims He Was ‘Airing His Penis’
Two teenage girls were enjoying their neighborhood park when they spotted a man on a nearby park bench with his erect penis in his hand.
The man who flashed the teenage girls explained to police that he was merely ‘airing his penis’ due to a rash. (Why you would want to publicly expose your pox-ridden genitalia in broad daylight is beyond me.)
He also denied masturbating (just scratching at his rash profusely, I guess) and stated that he had been unaware of people passing him in the park.
The man was charged with willful and obscene exposure and fined $250. His penis was not taken in for evidence nor removed for questioning…
Music Teacher Reveals Skin Flute
A music teacher at a middle school was arrested today for indecent exposure in a medical office.
Police say that a doctor was treating the man’s relative, when the man initiated conversation with the receptionist and flashed her.
The man taught music for 11 years and remains in police custody.
Apparently this was his first time trying to teach anatomy (don’t quit, your day job).
