The 26-year-old man was boating down Shem Creek during the wedding when he pulled down his swimming trunks down and showed his cock to the entire wedding party and guests as he sailed along the creek. The entire guest list along with other people on the boat screamed at the man not to expose himself, but it was too late.

The bride’s father stated that he had just walked his daughter down the aisle when they noticed the man dropping his pants. The flasher stated that the mere fact there was a wedding in progress gave him the motivation to expose himself. He’s been charged with indecent exposure with bail set at $10,000.

The man who flashed the teenage girls explained to police that he was merely ‘airing his penis’ due to a rash. (Why you would want to publicly expose your pox-ridden genitalia in broad daylight is beyond me.)

He also denied masturbating (just scratching at his rash profusely, I guess) and stated that he had been unaware of people passing him in the park.

The man was charged with willful and obscene exposure and fined $250. His penis was not taken in for evidence nor removed for questioning…

Police say that a doctor was treating the man’s relative, when the man initiated conversation with the receptionist and flashed her.

The man taught music for 11 years and remains in police custody.

Apparently this was his first time trying to teach anatomy (don’t quit, your day job).