$800 Fine for Penis Graffiti on Gay Home
Sadly, the headline to this story is much more entertaining than the facts. A man admitted to painting a florescent green penis on Gunns‘ chairman, John Gay’s property last year. The 21-year-old had been drinking with a friend (shocker) when the pair decided to buy some paint from Kmart in October. One painted the green penis on Gay’s fence while the other let off a smoke bomb on Gay’s doorstep. Disappointingly, the house was not gay, as I had initially thought by the headline.
Yesterday the painter pleaded guilty to one count of injuring property. His lawyer told the court his client’s actions constituted nothing more than “drunken tomfoolery” and that ”in the sober, cold light of day, (he) realized it was not very funny at all,” which I highly doubt since I’m not drunk but still had a good laugh… (PS. Picture shown here not actual graffiti from case, but so damn good I had to include…)
Locals of a farmland area have employed the use of rampaging pigs to break up gay sex trysts in woods on the outskirts of Coventry, UK.
After discovering a makeshift bed and used condoms (AKA scum bags) in the woods, one farmer was so frustrated by the sordid sexcapades that he unleashed a couple dozen pigs on unsuspecting couples in addition to removing 30 beech trees and putting up steel fences, barbed wire, and ‘Private Keep Out’ signs.
The 64-year-old farmer said he was “mightily relieved” (boy, howdy) that the pigs successfully prevented trespassing in the area, which first became a haven for gay debauchery some 15 years ago.
The farmer continued that “At its worst there were as many as 10 cars parked in nearby lanes, and they’d start from about 11am.”
The farmer believes that those responsible have migrated to nearby (Butt) Crackley Wood and claims, “I’m not homophobic, I just don’t like trespassers.” (…Or fags, blacks or Jews).
