Gumby Attacked; Kicked in Groin
Who takes one look at that lovable, green character and thinks, “I’m gonna kick him in the balls!” At least one person from Michigan. On a day that seemed innocent enough in Flint Township, a man dressed in a Gumby costume stood at the side of the road waving to passersby. One moment he was delighting children in the noonday sun, and the next minute he was curled up in fetal position cradling his family jewels.
In an unforgettable YouTube moment that Gumby would prefer to forget (and which I CANNOT find), he was attacked and kicked in the groin by another man. But it’s only thanks to that YouTube vid, that the drive by ball-kicker was located. The 28-year-old Gumby is an employee of a local costume store and was dressed up to draw patrons into the store for Halloween. He was only into his second or third hour as Gumby when he was approached from behind by a teen, who called for his attention, then kicked him in the groin.
Luckily, Gumby wasn’t badly hurt since the costume’s extra padding absorbed the blow (also since he’s made of clay). Police investigating the incident believed the perpetrator did this for a reason; probably to post a funny video online. Searching on YouTube, the officer found a video of the incident, which included the perp’s first name. It wasn’t difficult to further identify him by looking at vids posted by the same user. Police were soon able to find the suspect’s Facebook page and located him. He’s now being charged with misdemeanor assault. Additionally charges could be coming against the driver and cameraman. Pokey was not available for comment.
Robber Accidentally Shoots Off His Member
An armed robber attacked 12 people in a private home and threatened to shoot them one by one, but instead shot his own penis off with his stolen gun. The injured robber had hidden the weapon in the waistband of his pants. When he removed it, a shot went off accidentally, hitting him in the groin.
The details of the incident were kind of unclear, but what seems to have happened is that the family’s 35-year-old son arrived at the house along with security guards in the middle of the burglary.
The son fired two shots at one of the robbers aiming a firearm at his father. That robber was hit in the head and died. The other two robbers then fled, but family members managed to capture one of them near the residence and load him into a vehicle.
It was then that the robber shot himself as the firearm went off accidentally. The robber’s injury was so severe that doctors were not able to re-attach his penis. (So it was a disappointing experience on many levels.)
Woman Attempts to Evade Cops by Stripping
Police followed a woman home last week accused of stealing beef jerky and a lighter from a convenience store. Authorities say that she refused to answer the door when they arrived at her residence, becoming belligerent and argumentative.
She then began berating her three children, loudly blaming one for her shoplifting incident. When police entered the home in order to stabilize the situation, they say that the woman began to strip in front of the three children, asserting that the officers could not arrest her naked. (See how wrong you can be?)
Resisting arrest, she kicked an officer in the groin and spit at another. Police continued that she then exposed herself against the cruiser window, and registered a blood-alcohol level of 0.112 percent.
The woman is now facing charges of felony battery of an officer, resisting an officer, shoplifting and two counts of disorderly conduct.
