A sheriff’s deputy from Indianapolis was charged this week with official misconduct and patronizing a prostitute (a national pastime) after a police sting caught him attempting to use his job to solicit sexual favors from women while he worked a second job as a security guard at a local gas station.
According to an affidavit, police began the investigation after one woman reported that the 25 year-old deputy had tried to solicit her for sex on several occasions.
The suspect had been with the department for 10 months and was arrested Sunday after police wired the woman for sound to catch him in the act.
Local officials stated that they deputy was heard on a recording offering to trade a pack of cigarettes and a soda for oral sex. (Sounds like she lost out.) The man has been suspended without pay, pending further investigation.
Cops: Nude, drunk was hard to bring down
It took 10 police officers to restrain a drunk, naked Lebanese man at a campground over the weekend in Noblesville, IN. (PS this has the makings of some seriously fantastic sketch comedy.) The local sheriff’s department stated that officers were called to the campground just after 3 am Sunday morning on reports of a “drunk, belligerent, naked man starting several fights there“. (That narrows it down… to all of the male guests on Jerry Springer.)
Arriving at the scene, police were exiting their vehicles when the unclothed, agitated and evidently injured man charged at them. (They must have been wearing red instead of blue.) The man continued to resist arrest even as a police dog bit him repeatedly and he was hit several times with a stun gun. At length he was successfully sedated and handcuffed. (Tough little f*cker!)
Police believe the man was reacting to a combination of alcohol, cocaine, PCP and magic mushrooms. (Oh, crazy little f*cker…) He was taken to a nearby hospital and later charged with disorderly conduct, resisting law enforcement, criminal mischief and striking or interfering with law enforcement.
The only question that remains: Is the guy fat? Cuz I’m going to need a little more direction casting the skit…
