Linger: International Feminine Flavoring saves you menacing embarrassment, claiming to “improve the quality of oral sex” by flavoring “the secretions of a woman when she is sexually aroused”. (Seems like quite a promise, but any woman can tell you a fresh tasting vaj doesn’t equal satisfaction… for her anyway).

The idea was too intriguing NOT to click on ‘instructions’. Much to my disappointment, there was no diagram. Instead, copy states that “Linger is shaped for comfort during insertion” (suspect). Personally, good ol’ soap and H20 have gotten me this far…