It's My World, Ur Just a Squirrel » masturbating

Flasher Claims He Was ‘Airing His Penis’

The $@bs — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 17:34:37 +0000

Two teenage girls were enjoying their neighborhood park when they spotted a man on a nearby park bench with his erect penis in his hand.

The man who flashed the teenage girls explained to police that he was merely ‘airing his penis’ due to a rash. (Why you would want to publicly expose your pox-ridden genitalia in broad daylight is beyond me.)

He also denied masturbating (just scratching at his rash profusely, I guess) and stated that he had been unaware of people passing him in the park.

The man was charged with willful and obscene exposure and fined $250. His penis was not taken in for evidence nor removed for questioning…

Trucker Flips Trailer Driving and Jerking

The $@bs — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 16:57:18 +0000

A trucker reportedly driving high was masturbating and lost control of the vehicle, flipping the truck and blocking multiple lanes of traffic.

You would think a car accident might distract him from the job at hand (literally), but no. Committed to the act, the trucker kept right on spankin’ it. Even during the police interrogation, he just kept on keepin’ on.

The trucker confessed to pleasuring himself while driving, resulting in his loss of control of the vehicle. The accident shut down one direction of traffic entirely and closed one lane traveling in the other direction.

My only question: so did the guy ever cum or not???