“Is that a Big Mac in your pocket or are you just stealing off the dollar menu?” McDonald’s employees at a store in South Carolina called police when a woman bought a sandwich and shoved it down her pants, insisting that her order wasn’t complete.
The woman had purchased two sandwiches and two small coffees, then took one of the sandwiches and put it down the front her jeans, demanding a free one. Staff called 911 after the woman became belligerent when they refused to give her a free sandwich. The responding officer stated that he could hear the woman screaming profanity at the cashier when he went into the McDonald’s.
Upon arrival, he asked the hysterical woman to step outside, noticing a large grease stain on the front of her pants. The woman denied having stolen the sandwich until a female officer arrived on the scene to search her. At that point, the woman pulled the sandwich out of her pants and put it on the hood of the police car while she continued to shout obscenities, reeking of alcohol. Convinced she had stolen more, the officers searched her, but what they initially thought was a Filet-O-Fish, turned out to be her vagina. She was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct. The sandwich was not available for comment.
Taking ‘play area’ literally, a 38-year-old man was arrested for looking at porn while jerking off at a Madison, WI Mickey D’s. The man used his laptop to watch porn while about 20 children were playing. Apparently, one of the other parents became suspicious when it became obvious that the man had no children in the play area. (Because if he did have kids playing, looking at porn and jerking off would have been fine…)
The concerned parent told police that he saw a man looking at a porn and typing with one hand, while masturbating with the other (add multitasking to his resumé). The responding officer confirmed witnessing the same. Upon his arrest, the suspect admitted to exercising bad judgment. (Ya think???)
McGospel Fest: A Match Made in McHeaven
I constantly notice what corporations sponsor and who they consider to be their target markets. I’m even more fascinated by how they attempt to reach those audiences. It’s the marketing geek within me, I guess. Anyway I saw a pretty good marketing marriage that made me guffaw: McDonald’s Gospel Fest, a talent competition featuring choirs, steppers, praise dancers, soloists, gospel rappers and gospel poets, singing groups, and gospel comedians.
The sponsorship really speaks to McDonalds’ core demographic of low income minorities. Sponsorships such as these exist to leave consumers thinking “McDonald’s is doing good for my community” instead of “damn po’ quality food makin’ black folk everywhere fatter than Miss Jenkins (but you didn’t hear that from me)”. And then people wonder why this country has an obesity problem… McDonald’s Gospel Fest will be held on Sunday, July 13th at the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ (AKA car theft capital of the world).
$@bs
Girl Finds Condom in Happy Meal
I guess we know what puts the ‘happy’ in ‘Happy Meal’, at least in this instance: a side of steaming cock (supersize me). Police in Switzerland are investigating the discovery of a condom in a 7-year-old girl’s McDonald’s Happy Meal. The girl’s mother called police directly after the girl found the condom among her French fries (hey, at least they practice safe sex; the french fries, that is).
Investigations are underway to determine where the condom came from and how it got into the Happy Meal. Also analysis is being done to determine if the condom posed a health risk. The French Fries have been sent to labs for DNA testing and the results will be revealed on the next Maury. The Swiss McDonald’s has declined comment, but McDonald’s US is now considering adding this new item to the menu branded the ‘Very Happy Meal’.
$@bs
Taste the (Interactive) Rainbow
I’m sure you know by this time, I’m talking about the new Skittles campaign. Since March 1st, if you visit http://skittles.com/ you’ll be taken to the results page for a Twitter search on “skittles,” in real time. Everything except a “small overlay navigation pane is the only Skittles-branded bit; everything else is Twitter.”
Not only are they using a Twitter search on “#skittles” as their homepage, but their videos are housed on YouTube, their photos are housed on Flickr , their friends are on Facebook and their about and description pages link to Wikipedia. Everyone in Tweetopia is naturally agog and wondering how long this will last and what effects it may have. Of course the unprecedented idea has forced some to question whether Skittles is giving up control of their branding and messaging. Your thoughts on this?
In other news, yesterday I tweeted about a woman in FL who called 911 three times when McDonald’s could not fulfill an order for McNuggets. I thought the whole thing was fantastic, but to her defense, this morning I heard that she had already paid for her food when they told her that they didn’t have said McNuggets; annoying.
When she asked for her money back, the McD’s management let her know that McDonald’s has a “no refund” policy so the woman called 911… and again… and again. She’s now being charged with misuse of 911. I think she should have gotten her money back, though I don’t know what she thought the cops would do about it. She needs to write to McD’s corporate; I have saved so much money by bitching, for trufe.
$@bs
