Pricasso to Appear at Xposed
An artist who uses his dick instead of a paintbrush, Tim Patch (aka Pricasso), is scheduled to make his North American debut at the 2011 Miami Xposed Expo; the romance, sexuality and adult lifestyle exhibition. The man who paints portraits with his prick (or sometimes his ass) was last seen at the SexPo in Sydney, Australia a few weekends ago.
A representative of the upcoming exhibit (more like ‘upcuming’ exhibit) stated, ‘Curiosity will attract attendees to Pricasso to see him paint with his unique brush, but once they see the speed and accuracy of this world class artist, they will be lining up to have their portrait painted.”
Show organizers report that since the announcement of Pricasso’s appearance, they’ve received several requests by local press for interviews with him. In addition to painting attendee portraits, Pricasso will be showcasing his talent with several ‘stage performances‘. (He’s gonna be huge in Bangcock! Too. Many. Jokes.)
Fireman Burns Down Apt During ‘Hot’ Sex
In an ironic twist of fate, a retired fireman accidentally set fire to his own residence in a fit of passion when throwing a cigarette as he made love to his spouse. The 63 year old man said that he and his 56-year-old wife were in mid dirty deed when flames forced them to run naked from their Miami apartment. The man shamefully reflected on the 37 years he spent as a fireman discussing the dangers of smoking in bed, as he desperately attempted to put out the blaze.
His wife noted that, ”After three or four pans of water it kept getting worse. I didn’t have any baking soda so I grabbed some mashed potatoes, and then I grabbed some bread crumbs and it was starting to get better but by then the smoke was so bad you couldn’t see.“ The man was able to pull his wife to safety before her lungs collapsed and they were given clothes once they managed to escape the fire.
On the bright side, the wife is taking bids for her new recipe for smoke-flavored mashed potatoes with toasted breadcrumbs. Currently the highest bidder is Burger King (home of the flame-broiled Whopper, the result of a similar incident…)
