Gumby Attacked; Kicked in Groin
Who takes one look at that lovable, green character and thinks, “I’m gonna kick him in the balls!” At least one person from Michigan. On a day that seemed innocent enough in Flint Township, a man dressed in a Gumby costume stood at the side of the road waving to passersby. One moment he was delighting children in the noonday sun, and the next minute he was curled up in fetal position cradling his family jewels.
In an unforgettable YouTube moment that Gumby would prefer to forget (and which I CANNOT find), he was attacked and kicked in the groin by another man. But it’s only thanks to that YouTube vid, that the drive by ball-kicker was located. The 28-year-old Gumby is an employee of a local costume store and was dressed up to draw patrons into the store for Halloween. He was only into his second or third hour as Gumby when he was approached from behind by a teen, who called for his attention, then kicked him in the groin.
Luckily, Gumby wasn’t badly hurt since the costume’s extra padding absorbed the blow (also since he’s made of clay). Police investigating the incident believed the perpetrator did this for a reason; probably to post a funny video online. Searching on YouTube, the officer found a video of the incident, which included the perp’s first name. It wasn’t difficult to further identify him by looking at vids posted by the same user. Police were soon able to find the suspect’s Facebook page and located him. He’s now being charged with misdemeanor assault. Additionally charges could be coming against the driver and cameraman. Pokey was not available for comment.
Naked Woman Steals Taxi Cab
If you live in Brooklyn, you already know how hard it can be to get a cab to take you where you want to go. No one knows this better one Louisiana woman. The woman asked the driver to take her all the way to Michigan, over a thousand miles away, which he refused to do. (Not that anyone blames him.)
In response to this, she attempted to convince him by taking off all of her clothes. (Which seems like it should have worked.) Still, no dice. Despite the driver’s repeated requests that she dress, the woman ignored him.
Unsure of how to handle the situation, the cabbie drove to the nearest police station and went inside to seek help. At this point the woman took off in the cab (presumably to MI). Cops caught up with her about a block away and forcibly removed the drunk woman from it. The woman was jailed for a few days but released on a $75 signature bond.
Get ready to barf; repeatedly. A 53-year-old man from Michigan has been charged for criminal sexual conduct after having a three-way with a 21-year-old mentally impaired woman (ewe) and her mother (double ewe). The man initially met the older woman in an online chat room back in ’07 and they’d had sex a bunch of times before involving the woman’s daughter.
The mentally challenged young woman has difficulty tying her shoes, cooking herself a meal, showering and dressing properly. She’s not able to live alone and has the IQ of a 10 year old (though I really don’t think a ten year old would want to have sex with the guy pictured here.) The judge hearing the case ruled that there’s enough evidence to convict the man on three counts of criminal sexual conduct. The 46-year-old mother is serving time in prison after pleading no guilty to third-degree criminal sexual conduct. To read the completely sickening article, click here.
