Naked Against Bullfights in Bilbao
If you’re planning on staging a protest against bullfighting, you’ll want to gather a group of your closest hundred friends, take off your clothes, paint some of you black and some of you red, drop, and form the shape of a bull. At least that’s how you’d do it in Bilbao. Anti-bullfighting campaigners chose the Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao to protest the annual celebration of the matador in the Basque city in northern Spain.
One hundred activists in their skivvies played dead in the form of a giant bull; their nearly naked bodies painted black and red. A spokesperson for the Animal rights group, Anima Naturalis, stated: “We believe that, after the Catalan parliament’s decision last month to ban bullfighting in the region of Catalonia, communities like the Basque Region could also do it. Basque society is becoming more sensitive, rejecting animal mistreatment.” (Clearly a call for stripping and applying body paint…) The protest generated strong support locally. One resident (with a roving eye) stated: “We’re impressed with how well this protest has been done.”
Flying Pasties Protect Passengers’ Privacy
Concerned about scanners at the airport seeing too much? Scanners planned for 11 airports in the US over the next two years beam electromagnetic waves on passengers and produce naked images when scanning for explosives. One man from Las Vegas claims that he’s found a solution to the new full body scanners being introduced: flying pasties. You stick these bad boys over your unmentionables to hide your privates when going through the X-ray machines.
Drawbacks? Well some believe that the 2mm-thick, rubber stick-on pads may attract even more unwanted attention since airport security noted that ”anything that inhibits advanced imaging will require additional screening“. However, the inventor says that his customers can simply remove the pads when asked by airport officials. Furthermore, he pointed out that the pads can be attached underneath shirts and pants for easy removal. The pasties go for $16.99 each and feature such catch phrases as, “Only my husband sees me naked“.
Naked Man With Vaseline Arrested
How do you identify a neighborhood peeping tom? Chances are he’s the guy running around half naked with a jar of Vaseline. A 44-year-old man from New Castle, DE, is facing charges of resisting law enforcement and public indecency when teens spotted him around 12:20 a.m. running up and down the street sans pants.
When teens pointed him out to authorities hiding behind a Spruce tree nearby, police said he was naked from the waist down, carrying a towel and a jar of Vaseline and wearing only a fleece vest. (Well there was a chill in the air, after all.) Police were unsure why the man was running through the neighborhood half naked, but reports of a peeping tom in the area came to mind. (So… you do the Math.)
Real Housewife of NJ’s Real Sex Tape
If you happened to see the Real Housewives of New Jersey on Bravo (which took place in Franklin Lakes, where I went to high school!), you were probably fascinated/horrified by one Danielle Staub. Her over-the-top drama and histrionics in general made for fantastic reality TV, but one awful existence.
Raising (or lowering) her own bar, you’ll soon be able to see her in all her plastic surgical glory, as Hustler plans to ‘leak’ a 75 minute sex tape of the divorcée… which she, herself, shot. Who would want to see this horsey faced 47-year-old ho naked for over an hour is beyond me. Nevertheless, the tape is going to be released June 14; so if you’re out of expectorant, you’re in luck. I’m sure her children will be very proud. Next stop for Ms. Staub? Probably porn (shudders).
Naked Housekeeping Now Available
Anyone that’s ever had a cleaning lady knows what a pleasure it is not to have to clean up after yourself. And who hasn’t thought of boning the maid? Well, now you’ll really be thinking about it. A woman from Omaha just set up a naked cleaning business.
Maids from this company will clean house, cook and… babysit minimally clothed or naked. (Seriously, why would you want some random naked woman to watch your child?) Providing three levels of service, clients can choose from topless, bottomless and totally naked house cleaning; each for different rates. Nude cleanings will cost you $125 dollars and in case you are thinking of boning the maid, nude cleanings with “satisfaction” will cost you $175.
If this sounds like prostitution to you, you’re on the right track… or street corner. According to Omaha city authorities, house cleaning in the buff while others watch constitutes a nude “performance”; illegal in Nebraska. Regardless, the business owner/madame states, “There’s no limit on cleaning and fun. I don’t want to be close-minded”. (Or in this case, close-legged.) Let’s just pray that they’re not hiring any fat, bald, old man…
Woman Discovers ‘Naked Candyman’ Surprise
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it in dew, cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two“, then you already know that the Candyman can. Well in addition to doing all that, he can also appear naked at random inside bags of women’s candies.
One such woman was left mystified when she opened a bag of candy, and discovered a two-inch pink candy shaped like a naked man holding his junk. The 23-year-old found the kinky candy in a bag of Candy King she got at a local grocery. She stated, ”When I opened the bag, I screamed so loudly the whole office came running over. I couldn’t believe my eyes.”
But rather than being delighted over the rare keepsake, the woman was upset and immediately called the store where she had purchased the candy. While at first they thought it was a prank call, they have since begun an investigation in oder to ascertain where the candy came from.
The grocer commented, “We expect better behaviour from our jelly sweets.” (Don’t we all?)
Hundreds Strip in Tribute to LS Lowry
If you like people running amok naked as much as I do, you’ll be very familiar with photographer, Spencer Tunick. His latest project is to photograph mass groups of nudes in eight different places across Manchester and Salford. The first set was taken at a park in Salford with around 500 people of all shapes and sizes. More than 4,000 volunteered to participate.
The artist hopes that his new work, ’Everyday People’ (a name Arrested Development would love) will capture the movement of everyday people, reminiscent of artist LS Lowry‘s work… but only butt-ass naked (it’s an industry term). My only problem with the piece is that from the photo above, there are no ethnic faces ANYWHERE – it’s like a giant Abercrombie & Fitch ad, WTF?
Man Crawls Naked Into Wrong Woman’s Bed
A 20-year-old man (well, hardly a man) from Boulder, CO, was arrested after police said he crawled naked into a woman’s bed and refused to cooperate with officers responding to the complaint.
The woman called the cops at around 4:30 a.m. Sunday to report that an unknown man had crawled into bed with her while she slept. The woman bounced out of bed and ran into a roommate’s room to phone authorities.
Turns out that the guy had come home from a party with another roommate and wandered into the wrong room by mistake. Drunk (shockingly) the man refused to cooperate with officers when they ordered him to come out of the bedroom.
He eventually complied once threatened with a Taser. The woman didn’t file charges in light of the drunken mistake. And that’s why I live alone.
A 28-year old man/nerdlover has been charged for using World of Warcraft to lure boys into emailing him nude pictures and videos of themselves. (Seriously, who wants naked pictures of pimply pubescent dorks?) The man had apparently accumulated a lot of ‘gold’ in the game World of Warcraft and was exchanging his gold for naked photos and video footage, including “live webcam videos of masturbation.”
Authorities discovered approximately 10,000 illegal pictures and 1200 videos of naked young boys ages 12 – 16 years old in the man’s possession. The man admitted to receiving the photos and videos (obvi), but insists that he didn’t pressure the boys into sending him anything (just ePaid them). Click here for more.
Playboy Forces Us See Tara Reid Naked… Again
I happened to have had the misfortune of growing up in the same town as Tara Reid. We went to the same grade school and my father still lives in the same house in which I grew up. One day he was in line at the bank when he happened to hear a conversation going on between the teller and the woman in front of him.
The woman said, in the Jerseyest of Jersey accents, “So she says, ‘So come to LA.’ So we says, so we can’t cuz the dawg. So she says ‘So bring the dawg.’ So we’re bringin’ the dawg ta LA!’ My father stared in wonder as the woman left the bank and asked the teller who she was. The teller replied that the woman was Tara Reid’s mother. My father, who has yet to visit an ATM, responded, “What is a Tara Reid?”
The answer to this age old questions is: A rich debauched alcoholic hobag with a botched boob job; and this is why she’s famous. Of course Playboy has to get a piece of the Z-list celeb action by exposing us all to her bad breast augmentation surgery… again. We’ve already seen her naked – who decided she might get better looking by aging? Not I, said the little red hen.
