A 28-year old man/nerdlover has been charged for using World of Warcraft to lure boys into emailing him nude pictures and videos of themselves. (Seriously, who wants naked pictures of pimply pubescent dorks?) The man had apparently accumulated a lot of ‘gold’ in the game World of Warcraft and was exchanging his gold for naked photos and video footage, including “live webcam videos of masturbation.”
Authorities discovered approximately 10,000 illegal pictures and 1200 videos of naked young boys ages 12 – 16 years old in the man’s possession. The man admitted to receiving the photos and videos (obvi), but insists that he didn’t pressure the boys into sending him anything (just ePaid them). Click here for more.
Playboy Forces Us See Tara Reid Naked… Again
I happened to have had the misfortune of growing up in the same town as Tara Reid. We went to the same grade school and my father still lives in the same house in which I grew up. One day he was in line at the bank when he happened to hear a conversation going on between the teller and the woman in front of him.
The woman said, in the Jerseyest of Jersey accents, “So she says, ‘So come to LA.’ So we says, so we can’t cuz the dawg. So she says ‘So bring the dawg.’ So we’re bringin’ the dawg ta LA!’ My father stared in wonder as the woman left the bank and asked the teller who she was. The teller replied that the woman was Tara Reid’s mother. My father, who has yet to visit an ATM, responded, “What is a Tara Reid?”
The answer to this age old questions is: A rich debauched alcoholic hobag with a botched boob job; and this is why she’s famous. Of course Playboy has to get a piece of the Z-list celeb action by exposing us all to her bad breast augmentation surgery… again. We’ve already seen her naked – who decided she might get better looking by aging? Not I, said the little red hen.
A homeowner, who adorned his front lawn with Michelangelo’s “David”, decided to make him seasonally appropriate by adding a Santa hat and beard. His goal was to give drivers a chuckle as they passed, but he succeeded only in pissing people off.
Parents began calling city officials complaining that their children had seen the Renaissance statue thus adorned and asked why Santa was naked. (They must think Santa is like Barbie; no reproductive parts.)
The city responded that the statue did not violate any town ordinances and there were no obscenity issues. But an official left the homeowner a voice mail requesting that he put more clothes on David. The homeowner complied by adding a pair of black and white velvet shorts, with a Christmas bow (as Michelangelo turns over in his grave).
Police arrested a wet, naked man on methamphetamine-related charges early yesterday morning. (It’s openings like these that make a story really work.) Cops received an anonymous complaint at around 2:43 a.m. of a man inside the fence of a storage-shed company. When the patrolman arrived, he found a man with a flashlight near an open storage unit.
After briefly conversing with the officer, the suspect fled deeper into the company’s complex. The officer then called for back up and police began searching the yard when another officer saw the naked man just inside the fence. The suspect admitted to stripping and hiding in a nearby pond hoping to avoid the police dog. However, he got cold (not to mentioned, he suffered from a severe case of shrinkage) and surrendered to police.
Police discovered a working meth lab in the storage unit and additional officers were called in to dismantle the lab. Police arrested the suspect on preliminary charges of resisting law enforcement, manufacturing methamphetamine… and two outstanding warrants for unpaid child support (just for shits & giggles).
Man Arrested for Being Naked in His Own Home
A man was making coffee in his kitchen Monday morning, not thinking anything of being naked since he was home alone. However, a woman and her 7-year-old son were walking through his front yard just at that moment and caught sight of the 29-year-old man having breakfast in the buff through his window. (Exactly what were they doing walking through his front yard?)
The woman called the police and the man was arrested for indecent exposure. The man argued that he didn’t know he could be seen, but authorities believe he wanted people to see him like that.
Outraged, the man stated that, “If I stood and seemed comfortable in my kitchen, it’s natural. It’s my kitchen,” He’s now facing a year in jail and a $2,000 fine, but plans to fight the charge. (Good thing I live on the fifth floor!)
Farmer Secretly Filmed Women Naked
Yep, farmers can be perverts too; and apparently are. A 53 year-old farmer is now facing charges of voyeurism after being caught with a series of hi-tech cameras used to spy on women renting the guesthouse he owned. The secret became public when his girlfriend split up with him and reported him to police.
Authorities then raided the cottage and found a video containing recordings of at least a dozen former guests at the cottage in various states of undress. The footage also featured women in the shower, shaving various parts of their anatomy and couples having sex in the cottage bedrooms. The surveillance system was linked to a series of TV monitors and recording equipment in a room where he lived next door.
The equipment was able to zoom in and out on specific scenes and included an extra sensitive audio option to increase the volume. His former girlfriend claims that three weeks before she left the dirty ol’ farmer, she caught him watching a visiting family that included 14 and 17 year old girls. Seems strange that this inspired her to turn him over, considering the fact that she admitted to several instances when she sexually gratified him while he watched the video footage.
Police Look for Naked Dancer
Police are on the hunt for a man they say sneaks into backyards, dances around naked and then runs away. (Who might be my personal hero.) The man is believed to have been exposing himself in the same neighborhood since 2005 (longer than I’ve stayed at any job to date), and most recently seen Sept. 30.
Police report that the suspect usually climbs a fence or goes through a gate and either dances naked or skinny dips, if the residents own a pool. The man also has been seen dancing naked on top of a backyard air conditioning unit. He’s described as pudgy, 6 feet tall and covers his face while dancing. Police want to catch him before it escalates into something worse (like a spotlight solo).
A medical marijuana grower was arrested after standing on a highway naked (emphasis on high). Eyewitnesses told police that the 27 year old was swerving into oncoming traffic and back into his lane on the highway when he suddenly stopped and got out of his vehicle. Police say that the man then pulled off his pants and stood naked in the middle of the highway, cursing at passing cars and hitting some of them with his fist. Two elderly women later told police that the naked man ran at their car, jumped on the hood and broke the windows with his fists and feet, then walked over the roof, down over the trunk and ran away causing damage estimated at $1,200.
The man now faces charges of indecent exposure, assault on a police officer, driving while under the influence of marijuana, harassment and reckless driving. The assault charge was a result of the naked man allegedly spitting in the trooper’s face. No charges have been filed for marijuana distribution since deputies who searched the man’s car found 4 ounces of marijuana and a notebook containing certificates for medicinal marijuana. (I so need a gig like that, well minus the stripping and spitting.)
Man Accepts Pizza Delivery Naked
A pizza delivery woman called police after repeatedly delivering food to a man wearing no pants. (I can only ponder what shirt he would have chosen for this outfit.) Police reported that the woman delivering the pizza notified authorities after four similar incidents (where he tried to supply his own sausage).
An officer was sent to speak to the man to discuss his “inappropriate” behavior. The man has since been banned from all local pizza delivery, though the pizza delivery woman didn’t want to press charges. (I wonder if he’s yet realized the untapped Chinese food delivery market). The pizza delivery woman should have realized what was going on, since the man always ordered extra anchovies.
Police Stop Naked Jogger
This week a man received a warning after police spotted him jogging naked.
The Swiss 26-year-old told police that running naked “allows his skin to absorb more oxygen.”
Oh, but he wasn’t completely naked. He was wearing running shoes, a cap, sunglasses and a pouch around his waist. (Talk about a fanny pack.)
He stated that he ran in a similar outfit around three times a week. (Um, none?)
Police registered an official complaint against him for indecent exposure, and the man agreed to wear more clothing from now on; (namely a necktie).
