Police Seize Four-Foot Penis
Well, who can blame them? Shit, I’d be all over that too. A 46-year-old’s prized Indonesian penis carving was taken by police after a local citizen complained about it. The cocky carving, worth £200 (about $300 USD), was on display in the man’s store window in North Yorkshire.
In addition to snagging his dick, cops ordered the man to pay a fine of £80 ($122 USD) or face charges for causing ‘harassment, alarm and distress‘. He was told he can only have his penis back if he promises not to put it on display again. (Insert your own joke here.)
In response, the store owner started a Facebook campaign for the return of the penis, which he’s dubbed the ‘Free Willy’ campaign (and which I just joined, naturally). Rather than turning him off from phallic art, he’s ordered over a hundred more of the carvings. So suck it! (Literally.)
Sex Offender Busted By Burglars
A 24 year old man from North Yorkshire, UK was sentenced to three and a half years in prison after thieves discovered images and video footage of child abuse and child pornography on his stolen laptop and went to police. The laptop was stolen during a burglary in August of last year. However, once the burglars saw the content on the laptop, they turned it over to authorities by way of a tip off. The detective handling the case commented that even though the thieves were committing a crime themselves, it’s commendable that they helped bring a serious offender to justice.
Under investigation, the suspect confessed to downloading child pornography and speaking to underage girls in chat rooms, one of whom he had exposed himself to via webcam. When questioned, the girl admitted that she had felt degraded and humiliated, resorting to self harm.
The judge presiding over the case ruled that the suspect ‘conducted a calculated scam against the girl’ and sentenced him to three and a half years in prison. In addition he’s been banned from working with children for the rest of his life and will be issued with a ’sexual offences prevention order’.
Since the arrest, a 38-year-old man and a 20-year-old woman were arrested in connection with the theft. Both were sentenced to 12-month community order.
PS: This guy kind of looks like someone I used to work with; which makes me giggle.
