Long Man or Schlong Man?
Tis the season to be randomly drawing large phalluses, no? Yes! It was just last week that we covered the penis painted on the bridge in St. Petersberg. Well now he’s got an English cousin in the aptly name, Long Man.
Although no one knows exactly when the Long Man was erected (insert joke here), archaeologists estimate that the hill figure in Wilmington, UK, dates from the sixteenth or seventeenth century AD. Obviously it was time for him to get a make-over. What better way to do so than by adding a giant penis?
This week the famous chalk image was anonymously adorned with a brand spanking new 20 ft hard on, which will stick around at least until the rain washes the paint from the hillside. Sources say the dick was drawn using a football pitch marker for the stunt. The huge cock is expected to wash away before long, so get it while it’s hard!
Giant Penis Protest Hits St. Petersburg
Why stage a sit-in when you can paint a giant penis in protest? A gigantic cock was recently painted on the Liteiny Bridge in St. Petersburg by the radical art collective known as Voina (which means ‘war’). The huge phallus was created in protest of security measures planned for the International Economic Forum, an event designed to identify and deliberate key challenges that face emerging markets and the world.
The Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation (FSB) is Russia’s main domestic security agency; successor to the KGB. Now, when the bridge is raised, the erect penis stands in all it’s glory right next to FSB headquarters. Measuring 220 ft long and almost 90 feet wide (insert jealousy here), the big dick rises and shines whenever the bridge is raised to allow ships to pass underneath it. Only one of the artists has been fined for the penis so far, which was still visible as of yesterday.
A naked man vandalized the ‘Welcome to Las Vegas’ sign while a local news crew shot the entire thing live while covering another story nearby.
Wearing nothing but a barrel and a Santa hat, a man took red and black paint and splashed it against the famous sign in protest of having recently lost his job recently and all his gambling winnings too.
(How exactly he blames the Nevada city for his troubles, I’m not sure. Also unclear as to why this had to be done in the nude, though I’m sure alcohol was involved.)
The man is now facing charges for defacing public property, but is now acutely aware that what happens in Vegas is sometimes televised nationally.
