Nothing says I love you like blowing your lover’s genitals to smithereens, at least in Russia. 33-year-old Alik lived with girlfriend Kira for about two years when Kira began suggesting marriage. Alik refused, saying he preferred to return to his first wife, with whom he shared a son, and began the process of moving out.
Kira invited him to a farewell dinner and after a large meal and plenty of alcohol, Alik fell asleep. Kira took this opportunity to tie several firecrackers to Alik’s penis and then detonated them. He was immediately rushed to intensive care and is now fighting for his life. Sources say that even he survives, Kira now faces up to 12 years imprisonment. (Note to self: don’t piss off Russians).
$@bs
Hair Don’t
I just got my hair cut this week. I hate getting it trimmed since I’ve been trying to grow it out for years. Basically, after I moved to Amherst for one intolerable semester at UMASS, I finally decided to cut my hair extremely short, which I had always wanted to do but never had the balls to disobey my father’s wish of Lady Godiva length locks. I’ve been trying to grow it back ever since (talk about Karma).
I really didn’t want to cut off much at all, just a trim for the ends is all I hoped for. My hairdresser asks me what I want to do, and then blatantly disregards my requests. Does anyone else feel intimidated by a service provider whom the see regularly?
My hairdresser is a very good looking Russian guy and I don’t have the where-with-all to fight back, mostly because I spend the entire time in the chair being preoccupied with whether he is focusing on my bald spot, a rather large dent in the back of my head, a small lump at the top of my crown, or a case of psoriasis I have never quite been able to kick.
Usually by the time my insecurities reach their peak potency, the length of my hair is a non-issue. Not like it matters since my hair is so curly it looks the same no matter what is done with it.
