It's My World, Ur Just a Squirrel » Santa

Naked Man Caught Vandalizing ‘Welcome to Las Vegas’ Sign on TV

The $@bs — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 17:58:47 +0000

A naked man vandalized the ‘Welcome to Las Vegas’ sign while a local news crew shot the entire thing live while covering another story nearby.

Wearing nothing but a barrel and a Santa hat, a man took red and black paint and splashed it against the famous sign in protest of having recently lost his job recently and all his gambling winnings too.

(How exactly he blames the Nevada city for his troubles, I’m not sure. Also unclear as to why this had to be done in the nude, though I’m sure alcohol was involved.)

The man is now facing charges for defacing public property, but is now acutely aware that what happens in Vegas is sometimes televised nationally.

Man Bitched Out by Neighbors for Naked Santa Lawn Ornament

The $@bs — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 18:25:31 +0000

A homeowner, who adorned his front lawn with Michelangelo’s “David”, decided to make him seasonally appropriate by adding a Santa hat and beard. His goal was to give drivers a chuckle as they passed, but he succeeded only in pissing people off.

Parents began calling city officials complaining that their children had seen the Renaissance statue thus adorned and asked why Santa was naked. (They must think Santa is like Barbie; no reproductive parts.)

The city responded that the statue did not violate any town ordinances and there were no obscenity issues. But an official left the homeowner a voice mail requesting that he put more clothes on David. The homeowner complied by adding a pair of black and white velvet shorts, with a Christmas bow (as Michelangelo turns over in his grave).

Merry Stressmas

The $@bs — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 13:04:00 +0000

The holidays tend to make people a little bit more on edge and I have been no exception; Christmas came and went. Despite my merry caroling, my holiday was less jolly than I anticipated; mostly because I didn’t get what I wanted. It’s not a good thing to have expectations.

To my defense, Santa led me to believe that I deserved what I asked for and that it was forthcoming, but then later let me know that at the time that he received my letter, he didn’t want to tell me that is was too soon for that type of gift. I basically had to find out the hard way (never getting it) and was sorely disappointed as a result.

I don’t just feel let down that I’m not going to get what I hoped for this Christmas. I could take that in stride; I’m a big girl.

I’m mostly upset that Santa led me we were on the same page, when in fact, we weren’t. Basically, he was just too pussy to tell me the truth. I would have thought Santa would have been a lot bigger than that; presenting himself as a man’s man with his nonstop physical training and what not.

I will have a total of almost two whole weeks off from work. There was talk of going away, but that didn’t pan out either. I made plans to go away to Philly for a couple of days, as a last resort (an act of desperation) but my friend that was meant to drive sprang an oil leak, so the trip is canceled.

Needless to say, looking forward to these 2008 pieces of shit being over.

$@bs