If you haven’t heard all of the hubbub about the new TSA Scanners, well you probably live in a cave. If you opt-out of the scan, you have the luxury of being fondled by a stranger in apparently a most intrusive fashion. If you submit to the scan, then your naked image is saved and in the power of some no-name GED obtained moron who will do God knows what with it. Most likely they’ll sell it online to some porn site; and if you’re a guy, then some gay porn site.
But wait! There’s more! In case none of this is embarrassing enough, a radiologist at Lenox Hill Hospital stated that TSA scanners can learn a lot more about your health history via the scanners. The medical expert stated, “The airport scanners show anything on the surface of the skin and very closely under the skin.” What other goodies will be visible to TSA staff?
Piercings, catheters, and colostomy bags in addition to breast implants (these are easy to spot regardless) and prosthetic testicles will be easily recognizable on the scanner screen. Moreover, the X-ray technology can also tell if a man is circumcised or not. With all of this in mind, I’m prepared for a good groping this busy holiday travel season. Hey, I could use a little action anyway. (Dry spell.)
Flying Pasties Protect Passengers’ Privacy
Concerned about scanners at the airport seeing too much? Scanners planned for 11 airports in the US over the next two years beam electromagnetic waves on passengers and produce naked images when scanning for explosives. One man from Las Vegas claims that he’s found a solution to the new full body scanners being introduced: flying pasties. You stick these bad boys over your unmentionables to hide your privates when going through the X-ray machines.
Drawbacks? Well some believe that the 2mm-thick, rubber stick-on pads may attract even more unwanted attention since airport security noted that ”anything that inhibits advanced imaging will require additional screening“. However, the inventor says that his customers can simply remove the pads when asked by airport officials. Furthermore, he pointed out that the pads can be attached underneath shirts and pants for easy removal. The pasties go for $16.99 each and feature such catch phrases as, “Only my husband sees me naked“.
