Gym Offers Naked Workouts
Ah, Spain: home of tapas, siestas… and now naked workouts! A gym in Spain’s region of Basque has a new way to motivate members, offering naked workouts. Aptly named, Easy Gym is the first of its kind (probably for good reason) to allow men and women to exercise completely in the buff. Based on research, the gym found that two local swimming pools offer popular monthly sessions for nude bathing and a local beach boasts of a naked run. Given the research, the gym felt like a naked workout was the next natural step.
However, skeptics suggest that running naked might not be entirely comfortable; pointing out that sports underwear was invented for a reason. (Amen to that.) To this argument, the gym owner stated, “Being a naturist doesn’t mean being daft. If a woman needs to, she can put a top on! But there’s cycling, weightlifting and the Stairmaster: there’s lots you can easily do naked.” (It’s true, I like naked cleaning.)
Beginning in May, the gym plans to operate every Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday exclusively for the uninhibited. Instructors have already been contacted to offer naked yoga classes in conjunction with the promotion. (They obviously missed the Seinfeld episode that deals with naked crouching.)
May is National Masturbation Month
Funny, I thought every month was Masturbation Month, but May Day actually marks the first day of National Masturbation Month in the US. Most of the coverage for this holiday occurred back in ’92, on Seinfeld. Jerry and cast brought up the subject during the episode that George’s mom catches him spankin’ it.
This turned into a contest for who could go the longest without pleasuring themselves. Unable to say the actual word on primetime TV, the euphemism, “master of my domain,” was used. Not surprisingly, no one was able to win.
Masturbation got a month of its own when in 1995 Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders commented that masturbation is,“something that is part of human sexuality and a part of something that perhaps should be taught.” Word.
It has been said that “ninety-eight percent of us masturbate, and the other two percent are liars,” and with that I bid you a Happy Masturbation Month!
The Associated Press reported that a woman from Haltom City, TX, called 911 in: The Case of the Too Few Shrimp. Apparently, she didn’t get as many shrimp as she wanted in her fried rice at a Texas restaurant, and felt authorities should be involved.
Haltom City police released the taped emergency call, in which the customer is heard telling the dispatcher, “to get a police officer up here”. The crazed shrimp lover had left the Fort Worth-area restaurant when an officer arrived Monday afternoon but were not able to hold the shrimp in custody. Restaurant employees said that the woman had 
been denied a refund after leaving with her order, then returned to complain.
What the press left out is that the ocean actually followed up on this issue by calling the woman and letting her know that due to unforseen circumstances, they’re running out of shrimp.
$@bs
