Sex Toys for Halloween
Somethin’ spooky this way cums!
Anyone not yet visually pleasured by a fleshlight will soon succumb (hard) to these ghoulish delights.
Just in time for Halloween, Fleshlight helps you get your sex toy on with a monster motif.
And just in case The Drac doesn’t exactly get your blood crawling, you have a variety to choose cum. Er, from.
Can’t a woman masturbate half naked, in hotel parking lot, with a loaded gun in peace anymore? Jeez! Police found a woman half-naked in a van outside a Red Roof Inn in Naperville. She was in possession of a loaded gun and various sex toys and told police she was changing clothes. She later admitted that she left her kids in the motel and went out to pleasure herself (with a loaded gun, of course).
The 44-year-old woman from Texas was registered at the hotel with her three children when cops was spotted her in the van in the parking lot, noting that she was naked from the waist up. She told police that she had left the kids, none of whom was too young to be left alone, in the room. “That’s why she was out in the van doing what she was doing,” an officer stated. (Thanks Captain Obvious). There was no mention of what she might have been doing with the loaded gun while she pleasured herself… (Masturbashe-gun? Eh, there something there…)
Sex Toy Drive Thru
Browsing in adult novelty shops can be kind of an awkward experience depending on who else is in the store and who’s behind the register. The state of Alabama would tend to agree; especially since sex toys are technically illegal there. Introducing Pleasures: the country’s first sex-toy drive-thru service located in Huntsville, AL.
AL’s anti-obscenity law has been in effect since 1998, but officials said the sex toy ban was not intentional but it was the result of “borrowing language from other states with similar laws.” The law makes an exception to the sale of items designed for “stimulation of human genital organs” if the sale is for “a bona fide medical, scientific, educational, legislative, judicial or law enforcement purpose“. Essentially, customers can’t purchase sex toys unless they fill out a medical questionnaire describing health-related reasons for the purchase.
Sex Toys… for Kids
If you spot handcuffs and lace thongs in a store, it’s likely you’d find yourself at the Pink Pussycat Boutique; that is, until you realize the items are intended for children. A mother of four in New Zealand was shocked to see a combo pack consisting of fluffy handcuffs, G-string, and a feather tickler displayed in the children’s toy section at a local shop.
The woman alerted the store owner and asked for the items be moved behind the counter, but when she returned, the handcuffs had not been moved from the shelves and the G-string packs had been moved to the next aisle over.
The woman spoke to the store owner again, who responded that he did not think the items were inappropriate. (Though surprisingly, none of his children were parading through the store in a G-String.) He responded,
“Parents need to take responsibility for their children, not the shop. We don’t sell BB guns to children, we don’t sell alcohol to under 18-year-olds … but for the shop, the toy might be for a three-year-old child. Plus, the parents buy for the children“.
The New Zealand Retailers Association stated that placement of stock is up to the store owner, but felt it would be a smart move to listen to customers’ complaints. A representative of the association said, “It’s a tricky one, but the shop owner should really consider the reputational harm before anything else.”
Vibrator Giveaway on Election Day
If voicing your opinions regarding elected officials and policies doesn’t persuade you vote next week, maybe sex toys will. (Queue Susan B. Anthony rolling over in grave.)
Babeland.com‘s “Get Out and Vote” campaign offers free Silver Bullet Vibrators for voters.
Just visit one of Babeland’s retail stores on Election Day (11/2), tell them you voted, and you get a free silver bullet vibrator (a $15 value-what a deal!).
If there’s Babeland store in the city where you live, a similar deal will be offered online at Babeland.com.
The silver bullet vibrator will be included with any purchase on November 2nd with promo code “110210” at checkout.
Sorry guys, hopefully you have a girlfriend, otherwise you’re gonna have to stick it up your ass. C’mon, don’t front, you love that shit.
Hotel Slammed for Sex Toys
Putting the ‘ho’ in hotel, trendy accommodations in Stockholm are feeling the heat after offering complimentary sex toys in their rooms. The hotel decided to expand the array of items included in the standard room price to feature sex toys such as handcuffs and vibrators (but, NO cock rings; the nerve)! Apparently the marketing ploy hasn’t gone over very well with authorities.
Police have accused the Berns Hotel of “glorifying” the sex trade with their naughty gifts. Stockholm police stated, “The hotel is trying to glorify something that we are working to de-glorify.” But the hotel reported that the response has been positive from guests; namely movers and shakers in the Fashion, Art and Music industries. Hotel staff maintains that that they try to take the needs of different groups into account, removing the items from rooms reserved by families with children, etc. For now, at least, it seems the sex toys are safe!
First siestas, now sex toys with your breath mints, Spain’s got game. The breath mint brand Smint recently started a Spanish promotional campaign that rewards customers with sexy prizes.
The “freshness was never so hot” marketing ploy features print codes on the mints’ packaging which people can enter online to redeem points. Points are redeemable for a range of adult toys from the sex shop Bijoux Indiscrets.
Two points will earn you a mobile game that promises to ‘make you vibrate with joy’. For 10 points you can get a candle or a pocket vibrator. (Personally, I don’t see how those two are comparable.) Fifteen points scores you a snazzy pair of fluffy handcuffs or scented body powder, and 20 points wins you striptease set; complete with feather boa and nipple tassels.
Sounds like the perfect gift… for every woman and gay man. Regardless of your sexual orientation, everyone who redeems a code will be automatically entered into a sweepstakes for a trip to Bali for two.
Giant 200-Year-Old Dildos Sold for $5800
Old shit is always cool; especially when it’s vintage sex toys. 200-year-old gigantic wooden phalluses were recently sold at an auction in the UK for for almost $6K. The Brentwood Antiques Auction described the sex toys as “extraordinary and exceptionally rare” and probably dated back to the late 1700s.
The items had been listed on the website under the category of “Erotica” with the description, “An extraordinary and exceptionally rare ‘Travel Godermiche’ being a pair of wooden phallus contained within a fitted kid leather covered Treen case with strap fleurs-de-lys decoration; one phallus 10 inches and with testicles and the other 11 inches and without testicles.’ Aptly named auctioneer, Wendy Wood, stated, “You might laugh but it’s a good opportunity for investment.” Jokes aside, that would be one nasty splinter…
Man Claims Stolen Goods Were Sex Toys
Patrolling officers first saw the 34 year-old walking around with an empty bag early in the morning last week. The man was stopped a few hours later when the same officers noticed that the bag he had been toting around was suddenly and inexplicably very full.
When asked about the bag’s contents, the man claimed that it was full of his ex-wife’s sex toys. (I know I always travel with my ex’s sex toys.) Checking the bag, the officers found another man’s wallet, a couple’s checkbook, lottery tickets, a GPS device, CDs, an American Express receipt, a couple of parking tickets, two cell phone chargers, a pink iPod, a camera, a Nissan key, gold charms and a watch. (Exactly what sort of sex game was this?)
Authorities soon determined that the items were from three cars nearby that had been broken into. The man was charged with burglarizing the vehicles and two counts each of receiving stolen property and felony larceny. Police said more charges are expected as the investigation progresses (such as falsely advertising sex toys).
