DIAGNOSIS: HoBag’s Remorse can be defined as a hearty feeling of regret you wake up with due to having slept with someone. The regret can be as a result of many reasons, but is usually because the person is:

1. Fat, ugly or just plain disgusting and you were drunk/drugged

2. Married or already has a significant other

3. Has not bothered to contact you after the encounter

CURE:  Like heartbreak, the only real cure for Hobag’s Remorse is time. Unfortunately, sleeping with someone else directly after contracting HoBag’s Remorse seems to only exacerbate the symptoms: mainly feeling like a two-bit whore.

If you have to see the person from whom you contracted HR, the best thing you can do is pretend that nothing happened. This strategy is known as “acting as if”. Act as if nothing untoward happened between you, act as if you enjoyed it, act as if you’d do it again; anything you have to do to get through dealing with “the dreaded”.

The important thing to remember is that even the nastiest cases of HR usually subside within a few days. Don’t be too hard on yourself; we all make mistakes. If the mistake can result in an even larger one, RUN, don’t walk, to your nearest pharmacy and get yourself some Plan B. Plan A, BTW, would have been not sleeping with the louse in the first place. This posting is dedicated to one of my favorite women on earth; this too shall pass!

PS. if you want to read more about my sordid sexcapades, click here for my guest blog posting.

$@bs