Nude Burglar Had Mouse in his Rectum
If you’re going to rob a private home, make sure you have A.) A disguise, B.) A weapon, C.) Removed all clothing, D.) A mouse up your ass. Police in South Carolina say a naked burglary suspect appeared to be on drugs and was found to have a mouse lodged in his rectum. Cops reported that they responded to a home on a report of a burglary and discovered the 31-year-old suspect lying naked, face down in the doorway of the home.
In order to obtain the suspect’s cooperation and remove him from the home, authorities employed the use of a taser to no effect More police were then called to the scene to confront the suspect who had moved to the victim’s bedroom. He was finally wrestled to the ground and placed in handcuffs and leg shackles.
Authorities reported that the suspect appeared to be under the influence of magic mushrooms and was taken to a nearby hospital, where an X-ray discovered a mouse in his rectum. The suspect stated that he could not remember the events leading to his arrest. Nevertheless, he was charged with resisting arrest, assault and battery, and indecent exposure. The mouse was held for questioning. Big shout out to @Jessmypet for sending along the story!
“Is that a Big Mac in your pocket or are you just stealing off the dollar menu?” McDonald’s employees at a store in South Carolina called police when a woman bought a sandwich and shoved it down her pants, insisting that her order wasn’t complete.
The woman had purchased two sandwiches and two small coffees, then took one of the sandwiches and put it down the front her jeans, demanding a free one. Staff called 911 after the woman became belligerent when they refused to give her a free sandwich. The responding officer stated that he could hear the woman screaming profanity at the cashier when he went into the McDonald’s.
Upon arrival, he asked the hysterical woman to step outside, noticing a large grease stain on the front of her pants. The woman denied having stolen the sandwich until a female officer arrived on the scene to search her. At that point, the woman pulled the sandwich out of her pants and put it on the hood of the police car while she continued to shout obscenities, reeking of alcohol. Convinced she had stolen more, the officers searched her, but what they initially thought was a Filet-O-Fish, turned out to be her vagina. She was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct. The sandwich was not available for comment.
