It's My World, Ur Just a Squirrel » sperm

The Amazing Sperm Race

The $@bs — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 23:06:12 +0000

According to National Geographic, sperm is pretty friggin’ cool. At least, that’s what their new documentary “Sizing Up Sperm” seeks to depict. Premiering March 14th, the show will illustrate how every time a guy blows his load, millions of sperm fight in a battle of epic proportions to overcome competitors, armies of antibodies and spermicides in the quest for an eggy victory.

A twist on sex ed, the show brings ejaculation to life (pun intended) by using real people to portray each of the 250 million sperm emitted during male orgasm. Fertility experts walk the viewer through a visual journey from a sperm’s point of view, using “striking landscapes” (ok, that sounds a little scary) to show various phases of the process. Supposedly the testicle is represented by an oversized London skyscraper, so that seems promising… To view the full article, click here.

Men with Higher IQs Have Healthier Sperm

The $@bs — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 16:18:04 +0000

Ladies, quit dating dumb asses or you’ll never get preggers! A new study recently came out (pun intended) which found that men with the highest intelligence also have the healthiest sperm.

This discovery may explain why smart men have so many female admirers regardless of physical appearance. (Or maybe chicks just don’t dig morons.)

The research, conducted by Professor Geoffrey Miller of the Univ. of Mexico, indicated that men who scored high on intelligence tests had high counts of healthy sperm, whereas, low scorers tended to have fewer and more sickly sperm.

The study also suggests that being smart and funny may have developed as a signal to women looking for a mate with healthy genes. One can assume then, that your best chance of avoiding unwanted pregnancy is to continue dating brainless/humorless fucks.

Sperm Facial Found to Smooth Wrinkles

The $@bs — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:08:06 +0000

As if any man needed a reason to shoot his load in a female’s face, recent studies found that a powerful anti-oxidant in human sperm diminishes wrinkles and smooths the skin. The spermine found in human semen is now being synthesized in labs and sold by Norwegian company, Bioforskning.

The spermine facials cost around $250 and are being offered at local New York spa, Townhouse. (Conveniently, they also offer snail secretion facials for $175.) Alternatively, no doubt any philanthropic, heterosexual male would also be willing to provide the service free of charge.

$@bs