Restore the Color of Your Vagina
I don’t spend so much time staring at my genitals that I’d ever notice if mine was fading in color, but I’m glad to know that if I ever did, a solution already exists.
My New Pink Button is a cosmetic colorant that promises to restore the pink back to a woman’s genitals. The creators noted that over the years, it’s normal for a woman’s labia to lose its pink hue due to stress or childbirth.
This specialty stain “blends with the skin’s natural color” and lasts for about three days – “perfect for a romantic weekend” (during which, you’d of course want your vagina at its pinkest).
I find this somewhat racist, since minority women wouldn’t have the need to color their vaginas pink (unless they are into punk rock pussy, perhaps). Also, I didn’t see corresponding links for “My New Black Button” or the like…
A (male, obviously) professor conducted a study suggesting that unprotected sex is better for mental health than sex with condoms. The study was based on the sexual behaviour of 99 women and 111 men in Portugal who completed a survey regarding their sex lives and contraceptive use.
The research found that unprotected sex can significantly boost mental well being. Patients who indicated that they regularly use condoms showed an increase in stress and depression while those that had unprotected sex appeared to be able to deal with stress in a more mature way by taking effective action and had better mental health.
The conclusions from the study will be published in the academic journal, Archives of Sexual Behaviour, and are expected to meet with extreme resistance from groups anxious to promote safe sex and prevent unwanted pregnancies and STDs.
Merry Stressmas
The holidays tend to make people a little bit more on edge and I have been no exception; Christmas came and went. Despite my merry caroling, my holiday was less jolly than I anticipated; mostly because I didn’t get what I wanted. It’s not a good thing to have expectations.
To my defense, Santa led me to believe that I deserved what I asked for and that it was forthcoming, but then later let me know that at the time that he received my letter, he didn’t want to tell me that is was too soon for that type of gift. I basically had to find out the hard way (never getting it) and was sorely disappointed as a result.
I don’t just feel let down that I’m not going to get what I hoped for this Christmas. I could take that in stride; I’m a big girl.
I’m mostly upset that Santa led me we were on the same page, when in fact, we weren’t. Basically, he was just too pussy to tell me the truth. I would have thought Santa would have been a lot bigger than that; presenting himself as a man’s man with his nonstop physical training and what not.
I will have a total of almost two whole weeks off from work. There was talk of going away, but that didn’t pan out either. I made plans to go away to Philly for a couple of days, as a last resort (an act of desperation) but my friend that was meant to drive sprang an oil leak, so the trip is canceled.
Needless to say, looking forward to these 2008 pieces of shit being over.
