A naked man was caught on tape in a woman’s driveway using a water hose to bathe early Monday morning. He was then seen breaking into the home, but police report that only thing he stole was a white sheet to cover himself.
Police continued that once inside, the man also cooked himself some food and had a few drinks before taking another shower. (Question: What was on the menu and was this an adult beverage?) He then wrapped himself in the sheet and walked out the front door.
The home-owner returned from vacation to find several windows broken and called police. Her surveillance cameras captured the man on video. The video footage depicted the nude white man washing himself with the water hose around 1:00 Monday morning.. He then knocked on the front door, but no one answered so he walked to the back yard, sat in a chair and put on what police think was a trash bag. After a little while, he took the bag off and starting busting out several windows.
Moments later, he decided to go inside the home and ransacked it, made a snack, had a few drinks and took another shower. Police said they have little to go on other than the video. Police have no other information other than the surveillance footage and some pubic hair he left on the home-owner’s soap while showering (ok, MAYBE I made that last part up).
A 58-year-old former mayor was arrested after women from Presall, UK, reported that their underwear was disappearing repeatedly from their homes.
One woman was so upset that she installed a surveillance camera in her bedroom, which caught footage of a semi-naked man rifling through her bureau and putting on her underwear before jerking off.
The investigation that ensued uncovered a collection of panties (turned manties) that matched those reported stolen at the home of the mayor, who was immediately arrested on suspicions of burglary.
Local authorities reported that the suspect is currently out on bail after being questioned. He has since stepped down from his post in light of the arrest. No reports indicate whether the panties are in police custody as evidence. (Disappointing sigh.)
Tranny Clown Robs Liquor Store
Officers in Boulder, CO received a call Saturday night from the Boulder Beer Emporium that the liquor store was robbed. Police are now looking for the suspect described as a cross-dressing man wearing clown makeup. (I somehow doubt he’s still donned in his burglary best at the local supermarket.)
Witnesses described the suspect as wearing red and white face makeup (Ronald McDonald?), a red and purple wig, a fake nose and a denim dress (NOT Ronald McDonald). Employees told the police they didn’t think anything was peculiar when he walked into the store (ummm… ok) because of local Pridefest events taking place that weekend. (Now, if they knew anything about gay men, they would have known that no self respecting queen would be seen wearing the outfit witnesses outlined. That’s why God invented the Fashion Police!)
The cashier reported that the man entered the store and approached an employee, asking for help in a feminine voice and saying that ‘shis’ husband was out of work. After being access denied by the employee, the man walked to the checkout stand, revealed a pistol, demanded the cash and bolted just as two other customers were walking into the store. I was disappointed there was no footage of this, but then learned that a surveillance picture is expected to be released presently.
$@bs
