It's My World, Ur Just a Squirrel » testicle

Ultrasound of Testicles Uncovers Spooky Face in Agony

The $@bs — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 15:25:22 +0000

What’s worse than finding out that you have a testicular tumor? Seeing the tumor’s scary face. Canadian doctors were shocked to discover a man’s startled image staring back at them as they scanned the testicles of a 45-year-old paraplegic man.

“It was very ghoulish, like a man screaming in pain,” one of the doctors described. “His mouth was open and it looked like one eye was gouged out.” Residents and staff alike were fascinated by the outline of a man’s face with his mouth agape on the ultrasound pictures.

Though the tumor was found to be benign, the man had the testicle surgically removed just in case the face in his balls had any plans of its own.

Woman Splits Police Officer’s Testicle

The $@bs — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 17:53:31 +0000

Police arrested a woman after she became aggressive when attempting to remove her mother and brother from a nursing home, in violation of an order by the Guardianship Board. Resisting arrest, the 58-year-old woman refused to get into the police car and urinated all over her clothes, rubbing her soaked dress into a senior officer’s face and chest. (I think we’d get along swimmingly!)

She continued her erratic behave until she was taken to a cell at the local police station. When the same police officer tried to stop her standing up, the woman grabbed his testicles, twisted them, and would not let go. (WOMANOAH!)

The assault left the officer with a tear in his right epididymis, which later became infected, leaving him with ongoing chronic pain and concerns over his ability to father children. (Ok, that might have been a bit much.)

Upon further investigation, doctors and psychiatric reports showed that the woman suffered a “mixed personality disorder with borderline histrionic and narcissistic traits“. The judge acknowledged that the woman was “extremely distressed” at the time because the Guardianship Board, Public Advocate and police had treated her mother and brother, suffering from dementia and Downs Syndrome, in an unfair manner.

In light of the woman’s condition and the circumstances surrounding her immediate family, the judge presiding over the case suspended her nine-month prison term on the condition that she agree to probation for two years and undergoes (severe) psychiatric treatment.

Man Kicked in Groin Loses Testicle

The $@bs — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 16:32:53 +0000

A man who does not want to be identified (for obvious reasons) is down one testicle after a brunette in her 20s kicked him in the balls with her high heel.

The attack appears to have been unprovoked and random.

Medical records indicate that the force of the kick pushed one of the victim´s testicles into his abdomen!

He then had to undergo surgery to repair the damage, when doctors discovered that the testicle had ruptured and were forced to remove it.

(Ok, even I felt that and I don’t even have any testicles… anymore.)

Authorities stated that three such attacks have been reported in recent weeks.

Police also believe that there may be others victims of this woman who have not reported the attacks and are investigating further (and covering their testicles while doing so).