If you suck at cards, better not practice your bluffing skills during a game of strip poker. Two people were caught running naked down the street early in the morning. Cops first saw a woman jogging down the street, completely butt-ass naked. When back up officers were called to deal with the “crime”, they found both a naked woman and a naked man hiding behind a fence.
The naked couple told the cops that they were losers in a game of strip poker and had no choice but to run around the block towards home, sans clothing. The cops then escorted the naked couple back to the apartment where the game was still in full swing. Police then met the full round of players of the strip poker tournament, who were described as only “half naked.” Now, in a game of strip poker, the only one way to keep score is to keep your clothes off (or on, depending on your performance). The kind officers did not force anyone to lose track of their position in the game, but allowed the naked couple to find their clothing and dress only because they had lost and were, therefore, out of the game.
While the couple was dressing, the cops had no problem hanging out in the apartment while the poker game continued and more clothes were shed; presumably to provide poker playing tips. They issued only a verbal warning and didn’t arrest the man or woman for their naked sprint since it occurred at a time when it was unlikely for anyone to see them, except for the policeman who first spotted them; and then, of course, all his friends who arrived for backup.
Masturbation Tips
In my search to diversify the sex-related content you’ve grown to know and love, I stumbled upon this morsel. The article is related to masturbation for men, but who can’t use a brush-up (and down) on hand job skills now and then? (Chill, ladies; tomorrow’s post will pussify your protests.) While the article had many good ideas, the best ones were:
- Switch hands or change positions – personally I can’t get the right friction with my left hand, but maybe I just don’t have the right equipment. I’ve heard good reviews about The Stranger.
- Simulate thrusts instead of using your hands to move up and down the shaft. While I appreciate this move saves you from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, it might not look that sexy. Therefore, NOT recommended during mutual masturbation.
- Different strokes – And not in a Gary Coleman kind of way. The article suggests rolling your penis in between your hands while moving them up and down the shaft or using long twisting strokes. Actually this just sounds kind of painful.
- Don’t neglect the rest of your genitals, try massaging the perineum (the area between the balls and the anus, AKA ‘the taint’). It’s also recommended you try sticking your finger in your ass (multi-taskers only).
- Toys – The piece urges you to consider using a vibrator, dildo, butt plug, cock ring or cock sleeve. Frankly, this just sounds gay, but whatevs, no judgement.
Happy playing!
For the complete article, click here.
