Naked Man on Mushrooms Hit By Train
A young man was arrested in connection with an incident during which he was running around naked and got hit by a slow-moving train. (As if being hit by a train wasn’t punishment enough.)
Authorities say that the 18-year-old suspect had eaten magic mushrooms prior to the incident. Police received a call on Saturday at 7:30 am by a woman who’d seen the man running around naked in the neighborhood, yelling to himself. The woman asked if the suspect was OK, to which he responded by screaming and cursing at the woman, who ran into her house and called police.
Police responding to the call met with several residents who had seen the naked display, but were unable to find the man. About a half hour later, police were notified that a train had struck a naked man in the area. The conductor reported that the train was traveling about 9 mph when he saw the man near the tracks. (Reminds me of this Austin Powers scene…)
The conductor then sounded the horn to warn the man, but the man got onto the tracks and walked directly toward the oncoming train. The conductor applied the brakes, but couldn’t stop before hitting the man, who disappeared from view following the contact. The conductor later discovered the man sitting under the third car of the train, but ran off before police and medical workers arrived.
The suspect was found a short time later and got into an altercation with police. He broke free after striking a deputy and ran into the woods screaming and cursing. The teenager was finally taken into custody, kicking and cursing the whole time, bleeding heavily and nursing a bad laceration on his forehead.
The suspect was taken to a local hospital, where he stayed until last night. He is being charged with indecent exposure, obstructing railroad operations, obstructing justice, trespassing on railroad property, being drunk in public (wait, mushrooms don’t make you drunk) and four counts of assault and battery on a police officer.
Train Drags Mooner Half Naked Along Tracks
A man mooning the staff on a departing train got his pants caught in the train car door and ended up being dragged half naked along the platform, out of the station and onto the tracks.
The 22-year-old journalism student shoved his ass against the window of a double-decker train after staff forced him off since he hadn’t purchased a ticket. Pissed, he attempted the full mooning, but instead he ended up dangling by his pants and was dragged for 200 metres, (about 656 feet, you’re welcome America). Thankfully (for him) he was able to keep his legs away from the wheels of the train.
The incident ended when a passenger pulled the emergency brake and rescue services were called in, causing delays for 23 trains. The man/moron now faces charges of dangerous interference in rail transport, insulting the train staff, and a serious fine for the delays he caused.
Like an asshole I missed my stop on the train tonight because I was too distracted by a game of brick breaker on the new crackberry my company bought me. I was also supposed to go to the gym and flaked on myself.
Why is it I’m so good at keeping my word to other people, but so disappointing when it comes to keeping my word to myself? I should stop making promises to myself or I’m going to stop being friends with me.
