Vagina Tree Predicts Winning Lotto Numbers
If you haven’t had much luck playing the lottery, don’t give up yet; well at least not if you live in Thailand. Villagers in northern Thailand have been consulting a “magical vagina tree” for winning numbers… and amazingly enough it’s been working!
Rumor has it that a 100-year-old tamarind tree developed a “fist-sized sparkling mound” (hey, I have one too!); a treegina, if you will. Locals in the Phayao area claim they saw the numbers “008” in the trunk, played them in the lottery, and won!
Whether the tree returns any subsequent predictions remains to be seen, but the story is traveling far and wide through the region (as stories of magical vaginas often do).
It’s not death that I’m afraid of, it’s an unnecessarily embarrassing death I’d have to live down into eternity that keeps me up at night. Like this unfortunate chap: A 44-year-old man from Newport, Shropshire, who died after he tied himself to a tree, wrapped a cord around his penis and became trapped. In a Houdini FAIL of epic proportions, the man cut his wrists in attempts to escape and died of blood loss and hypothermia.
Friends of the deceased noted that on the night before he died, the man had downed seven pints of beer and a vodka/coke. He returned home at 1:00 am to make a rope with two loops for his wrists. Then he went for walk, found a tree, removed his clothes and tied himself to the tree using his improvised handcuffs, facing the tree. He was found at 8:00 am the next morning wearing only socks and boots, with the cord still wrapped around his penis. He died just a few hours later. Still no word on what in God’s name he was doing with a cord wrapped around his dick, tied naked to a tree in the first place…
