What could be worse than when your fave sex toy goes missing? How about if your little friend calls the attention of the local bomb squad? A sex toy sparked terror in Russia when the bomb squad was summoned to defuse a suspicious package. A postal office worker reported that the package was ‘emitting a bizarre ticking noise‘ and contacted local authorities.
The entire building was then shut down and evacuated, only for the bomb squad to discover that the box contained only a vibrator that had been turned on ‘by accident‘. No news whether the shipment ever reached its final destination: a Russian vagina.
If you haven’t caved to the latest tech craze yet, this may finally tip the scale.
Introducing an iPhone app which turns the device into a vibrator with three intensities and a timer: MyVibe.
Spoiler Alert: The intensity of the vibration is limited by the amount of vibration that the iPhone offers, so the orgasmic potential of the app is also limited. (App = appetizer.)
Regardless, it might be a fun pick me up on the commute home… Click here to check it out.
Zoon+: The First Web-Enabled Vibrator
Long distance relationships are a serious hassle and it’s usually better just to write off the prospect as geographically undesirable and be done with it.
But every once in a while you meet someone that’s worth waiting for…
In those instances, the ZOON+ can help make the wait a little more bearable: The first sex toy that can be commanded via the Internet.
With just a click, your partner will vibrate with pleasure at your command, wherever he or she may be (like Uranus).
Vibrator Giveaway on Election Day
If voicing your opinions regarding elected officials and policies doesn’t persuade you vote next week, maybe sex toys will. (Queue Susan B. Anthony rolling over in grave.)
Babeland.com‘s “Get Out and Vote” campaign offers free Silver Bullet Vibrators for voters.
Just visit one of Babeland’s retail stores on Election Day (11/2), tell them you voted, and you get a free silver bullet vibrator (a $15 value-what a deal!).
If there’s Babeland store in the city where you live, a similar deal will be offered online at Babeland.com.
The silver bullet vibrator will be included with any purchase on November 2nd with promo code “110210” at checkout.
Sorry guys, hopefully you have a girlfriend, otherwise you’re gonna have to stick it up your ass. C’mon, don’t front, you love that shit.
Sure, being in a car can get frustrating: the stop lights, the traffic, the road rage… Some people relax by listening to music. Others decide to watch porn and play with themselves with the help of sex toys.
A 36-year-old woman from Cincinnati was pulled over for a traffic stop when police noticed that the woman had her pants unbuttoned and a vibrator in her lap.
After being questioned, the woman admitted to masturbating while driving, as well as watching porn on a laptop in the passenger seat. Just to make the party complete. she also had a “broken piece of crack pipe” in her purse.
The woman has been charged with driving with impaired alertness and possession of drug paraphernalia. If you think she sounds like a good time and you’d like to meet her, just check out her mug shot shown here and think again…
Vibrator Part Left in Woman’s Vagina
How do you know it’s time to sunset a romance? If your boyfriend shoves foreign electronics up your vajayjay, that’s a pretty good sign. A Taiwanese woman recently filed a police report against her boyfriend after he forced a vibrator into her vagina without her consent. The boyfriend, a medical student in his 30s (what a great doctor he’ll make), somehow didn’t notice that a part of the vibrator had broken off inside his girlfriend.
The woman was informed of the broken piece after seeking medical attention for vaginal pain and doctors took the X-ray pictured here. Apparently the couple was having sex when the man took out a vibrator and put it into his girlfriend’s vagina without her knowing. (Not really sure how he was able to stick a vibrator and his dick into her simultaneously; or even more incredulous, how it was that she didn’t notice…) She immediately complained of pain and he quickly removed the vibrator and hid it.
Unfortunately he didn’t notice that part of the vibrator had broken off and was left in her vagina. After three days of vaginal pain, the woman went to the hospital and was shocked when doctors reported that a half oval-shaped object was discovered lodged in her vagina.
How to Masturbate Discreetly in Public
If you’re a natural born horn-dog and have never tried masturbating (discreetly) in public, you’re missing out. The danger of getting caught can be quite thrilling, and apparently not I’m alone in this sentiment. A recent article published by The Daily Loaf has some helpful hints on how you can get started being naughty on the down low, such as:
Hide a Vibe Lipgloss – The perfect lip color or a secret pocket rocket for your portable pleasure? Only you can tell!
Vibrating Panties – Arouse your button with just a push of a button.
Seat Massager – Recommended for men (though I don’t really get how that translates into masturbation…)
My personal favorite is the old standby “crotch hole in the overalls” trick – works every time.
For the full article, click here.
