How to Make Your Own TSA Naked X-Ray Scanner
Are you jealous of TSA employees who get to openly peep at passengers all day long? Well now the joy of awkwardly seeing people naked can all be yours; with your own TSA Naked X-Ray Scanner! This can be created by simply modifying a satellite dish antenna.
By reversing the operation of some key components, you can modify the dish so that it can penetrate a layer to show what’s underneath.
While it may not be as effective as a genuine TSA machine (which costs something like $150,000) it may scratch your itch of invading other people’s privacy. (OPPs?) So spread holiday cheer by exposing your friends and loved ones to radiation and checking out their extra holiday love handles! Click here for more.
If you haven’t heard all of the hubbub about the new TSA Scanners, well you probably live in a cave. If you opt-out of the scan, you have the luxury of being fondled by a stranger in apparently a most intrusive fashion. If you submit to the scan, then your naked image is saved and in the power of some no-name GED obtained moron who will do God knows what with it. Most likely they’ll sell it online to some porn site; and if you’re a guy, then some gay porn site.
But wait! There’s more! In case none of this is embarrassing enough, a radiologist at Lenox Hill Hospital stated that TSA scanners can learn a lot more about your health history via the scanners. The medical expert stated, “The airport scanners show anything on the surface of the skin and very closely under the skin.” What other goodies will be visible to TSA staff?
Piercings, catheters, and colostomy bags in addition to breast implants (these are easy to spot regardless) and prosthetic testicles will be easily recognizable on the scanner screen. Moreover, the X-ray technology can also tell if a man is circumcised or not. With all of this in mind, I’m prepared for a good groping this busy holiday travel season. Hey, I could use a little action anyway. (Dry spell.)
Flying Pasties Protect Passengers’ Privacy
Concerned about scanners at the airport seeing too much? Scanners planned for 11 airports in the US over the next two years beam electromagnetic waves on passengers and produce naked images when scanning for explosives. One man from Las Vegas claims that he’s found a solution to the new full body scanners being introduced: flying pasties. You stick these bad boys over your unmentionables to hide your privates when going through the X-ray machines.
Drawbacks? Well some believe that the 2mm-thick, rubber stick-on pads may attract even more unwanted attention since airport security noted that ”anything that inhibits advanced imaging will require additional screening“. However, the inventor says that his customers can simply remove the pads when asked by airport officials. Furthermore, he pointed out that the pads can be attached underneath shirts and pants for easy removal. The pasties go for $16.99 each and feature such catch phrases as, “Only my husband sees me naked“.
Vibrator Part Left in Woman’s Vagina
How do you know it’s time to sunset a romance? If your boyfriend shoves foreign electronics up your vajayjay, that’s a pretty good sign. A Taiwanese woman recently filed a police report against her boyfriend after he forced a vibrator into her vagina without her consent. The boyfriend, a medical student in his 30s (what a great doctor he’ll make), somehow didn’t notice that a part of the vibrator had broken off inside his girlfriend.
The woman was informed of the broken piece after seeking medical attention for vaginal pain and doctors took the X-ray pictured here. Apparently the couple was having sex when the man took out a vibrator and put it into his girlfriend’s vagina without her knowing. (Not really sure how he was able to stick a vibrator and his dick into her simultaneously; or even more incredulous, how it was that she didn’t notice…) She immediately complained of pain and he quickly removed the vibrator and hid it.
Unfortunately he didn’t notice that part of the vibrator had broken off and was left in her vagina. After three days of vaginal pain, the woman went to the hospital and was shocked when doctors reported that a half oval-shaped object was discovered lodged in her vagina.
A technician at an imaging center was caught driving with a stash of X-rays, mammograms, videos and pictures of women and children, which police believe he was using for sexual gratification.
The 42-year old had hundreds of such images in his car when he was stopped Sunday on a traffic violation. He was held in the county jail and charged with four counts of possession of child pornography.
Police have not been able to determine why he was carrying the images with him, (but I think it would have made a lovely coffee table book).
